Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it? gJVO
A decrease in serious crimes’ rates nowadays does not give a big impact on people’s feeling of security in some countries compared to the past. Advanced technologies are the main cause of this case, and the government should educate people in society to solve this problem. The primary cause of crimes is the development of technologies, leading the news to spread quickly, and this may affect society’s emotional security in the future. This is due to the fact that the previous serious crime problems were spread out instantly through gadgets and create a tragic memory in people’s minds, producing unsafe feelings in their brains. Based on the survey of Universitas Indonesia, around 89% of women avoid walking alone in an alley due to the girl’s theft cases on the side street that happened in 2012, and this problem became the most popular news at that time. Moreover, using a campaign to educate people in terms of criminal case reduction becomes the reliable solution to tackle this problem, changing people's latest opinion. This is because advertisement allows people to get information easily, and this contains persuasive sentences that advocate people to believe. For example, the Korean government adds more advertisements in the media regarding how the crimes have been dipped in that country currently, and this raises the national security feelings of 78%, encouraging people to continue their duties along the day. Besides, the students are taught about the recent crime researches at school, giving deep understandings for scholars. In conclusion, high technology becomes the main problem of people’s unsafe feelings in some nations as the crime news spread easily. The solution for this problem is that the government should conduct a campaign to change people’s perspectives about crime cases today.
A decrease in serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes’
rates nowadays does not give a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
of security in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries compared to the past. Advanced technologies are the main cause of this case, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in society to solve this problem.

The primary cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
is the development of technologies, leading the news to spread
quickly
, and this may affect society’s emotional security in the future.
This is due to the fact that
the previous serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
were spread
out
instantly
through gadgets and create a tragic memory in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
minds, producing unsafe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feelings
in their brains. Based on the survey of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Universitas
Indonesia, around 89% of women avoid walking alone in an alley due to the girl’s theft cases on the side street that happened in 2012, and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
became the most popular news at that time.

Moreover
, using a campaign to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in terms of criminal case reduction becomes the reliable solution to tackle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, changing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's latest opinion. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information
easily
, and this contains persuasive sentences that advocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to believe.
For example
, the Korean
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
more advertisements in the media regarding how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
have
been dipped
in that country
currently
, and this raises the national security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feelings
of 78%, encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to continue their duties along the day.
Besides
, the students
are taught
about the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
researches at school, giving deep understandings for scholars.

In conclusion
, high technology becomes the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
unsafe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feelings
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
news spread
easily
. The solution for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should conduct a campaign to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
The usual preposition for "perspectives" is "on" not "about." Revise: "perspectives on".
perspectives about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
cases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?