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IN SOME COUNTRIES AN INCREASING NUMBER OF PEOPLE AER SUFFERING FROM HEALTH PROBLEMS AS A RESULT OF EATING TOO MUCH FAST FOOD. IT IS THEREFORE NECESSARY FOR GOVERNMENT TO IMPOSE TAXE ON THIS KIND OF FOOD. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS O v.2

IN SOME COUNTRIES AN INCREASING NUMBER OF PEOPLE AER SUFFERING FROM HEALTH PROBLEMS AS A RESULT OF EATING TOO MUCH FAST FOOD. IT IS THEREFORE NECESSARY FOR GOVERNMENT TO IMPOSE TAXE ON THIS KIND OF FOOD. WITH THIS O v. 2
In this modern era, people are facing a lot of health problems due to consuming unhygienic food like fast food, which is un protein and bad for health. this food had increased more and more in cities, the government should raise the taxes on that food kind, then it will be controlled. I strongly agree with this statement and give supporting examples. On one hand, in this modern society people had become robots and they are not given a specific time to their health. in other words, people are more engaging about their career and work, but not concern about the type of food they are taking. They are choosing fast food because they will take less time to prepare and eat. As per the research of the world health organization, the number of people had climbed up in taking fast food from a few decades onwards. Secondly, the government should escalate the food prices on that food, it very impotent to do this. If the taxes have hiked on this food, then the quality of food and coast will increase, this leads to a decline in health issues in society. As per the data, the government of India had imposed the oil prices, due to this effect they are more concern about purchasing oil and checking twice and thrice, whether it is good or bad for health. By this kind of change should be happening in society by the government, then only everyone attracts hygienic food. To conclude, there are so many benefits if the government hike on food materials as I mentioned above. Due to this kind of reasons I strongly support the statement.
In this modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems due to consuming unhygienic
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food
like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, which is
Possible spelling mistake found.
un
protein and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
had increased more and more in cities, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should raise the taxes on that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
kind, then it will
be controlled
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and give supporting examples.

On one hand, in this modern society
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people
had become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
robots and
they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a specific time to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
other words,
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people
are more engaging about their career and work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not concern about the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
they are taking.

They are choosing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will take less time to prepare and eat. As per the research of the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
organization, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had climbed up in taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from a few decades onwards.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should escalate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
prices on that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
It seems that a verb is missing.
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
impotent to do this. If the taxes have hiked on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, then the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and coast will increase, this leads to a decline in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues in society. As per the data, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of India had imposed the oil prices, due to this effect they are more concern about purchasing oil and checking twice and thrice, whether it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. By this kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
should be happening in society by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
everyone attracts hygienic food.

To conclude
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
hike on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
materials as I mentioned above. Due to this kind of reasons I
strongly
support the statement.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay IN SOME COUNTRIES AN INCREASING NUMBER OF PEOPLE AER SUFFERING FROM HEALTH PROBLEMS AS A RESULT OF EATING TOO MUCH FAST FOOD. IT IS THEREFORE NECESSARY FOR GOVERNMENT TO IMPOSE TAXE ON THIS KIND OF FOOD. WITH THIS O v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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