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In some countries a few people earn high salaries

In some countries a few people earn high salaries 7a5KY
Many people argue that the government should regulate salaries and limit the income employees can earn while others believe that earning high salaries is good for the nation. In my view, the pay scale of an employee should be based on one's knowledge and his position, but the government should also ensure that higher managements do not utilise their benefits and increase their salaries. This essay is going to discuss both the sides and support them with relevant examples. Firstly, some of the higher management and CEO's use their influence to increase their salaries while underpaying low-level employees. It is a problem because an organization depends on all of its staff to function properly. For example, in a software company, it is the developers that produce the end product, not a CEO, and if these employees are not encouraged through a proper hike in salaries their productivity might decrease. Ultimately, this not only affects the company but also the nation due to a decrease in the taxes paid by the companies and sometimes also in terms of deferred loans. If the authorities can control the power of CEO's then there may not be this problem of failing companies. On the other hand, an employee's salary should be based on his expertise and also his commitment to the company. This is because a CEO and higher management are responsible to formulate plans that can help the company's growth. For example, the CEO's of many companies spend most of their day (more than 10 hours) in the office while employees spend only 8 hours. A well-paid CEO might ensure the growth of an organization, thus benefitting a country by an increase in employment ad taxes paid. To conclude, paying the higher management can provide the advantage of increased employment and taxes. However, in my view, the government should also ensure that the management does not take advantage of this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should regulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
and limit the income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
can earn while others believe that earning high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the nation. In my view, the pay scale of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
should
be based
on one's knowledge and his position,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
ensure that higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managements
do not
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
their benefits and increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
. This essay is going to discuss both the sides and support them with relevant examples.

Firstly
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
and CEO's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their influence to increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
while underpaying low-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. It is a problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
an organization depends on all of its staff to function
properly
.
For example
, in a software
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, it is the developers that produce the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
product, not a CEO, and if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are not encouraged through a proper hike in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
their productivity might decrease.
Ultimately
, this not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the nation due to a decrease in the taxes paid by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
also
in terms of deferred loans. If the authorities can control the power of CEO's then there may not be this problem of failing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

On the other hand
, an employee's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
should
be based
on his expertise and
also
his commitment to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a CEO and higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
are responsible to formulate plans that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's growth.
For example
, the CEO's of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
spend most of their day (more than 10 hours) in the office while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
spend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
8 hours. A well-paid CEO might ensure the growth of an organization,
thus
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitting
a country by an increase in employment ad taxes paid.

To conclude
, paying the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
can provide the advantage of increased employment and taxes.
However
, in my view, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
ensure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
does not take advantage of this.
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IELTS essay In some countries a few people earn high salaries

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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