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In Some Areas Of The US Teenagers Are Not Allowed To Be Out Of Doors After a Particular Time At Night. (13GT-1) (vinoth-11/01/21) (4)

In Some Areas Of The US Teenagers Are Not Allowed To Be Out Of Doors After a Particular Time At Night. (13GT-1) (vinoth-11/01/21) (4) OVyYM
It is certainly true that roaming at night is not safe for teenagers. Recently, a few parts of the United States have amended the new rule that teenagers are not permitted to go outside at night without accompanied by an adult. However, I believe that this law may have some benefits but it affects the students who are working on part-time to satisfy their needs. There is no doubt that this law will save many youngsters health who unnecessarily roaming at night. Currently, many youngsters are going to late-night parties and day-by-day they are getting addicted to several bad habits which not only spoils their health it also affects their academics and career. For instance, a recent survey by "The International Student Union" revealed that one-eighth of youngsters in the US was addicted to drugs, by this new law, teenagers will not freely roam at night so they do not have any option rather than staying at home. Moreover, by this new rule, youngsters will get a quality time to spend with their family members which paves a way for better understanding with their parents. On the contrary, this rule affects teenagers who are doing a part-time job at night. Many youngsters are working at night to pay their tuition fees and to satisfy their needs. For example, international students from other countries who currently studying at the US are doing a night job to take care of their own needs. By this law, youngsters have to depend on someone for their needs To conclude, this law may have some benefits of not allowing youngsters to go outside at night but I believe this law has more disadvantages for teenagers particularly who are working at night.
It is
certainly
true that roaming at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
is not safe for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. Recently, a few parts of the United States have amended the new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are not permitted to go outside at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
without accompanied by an adult.
However
, I believe that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it affects the students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are working on part-time to satisfy their needs.

There is no doubt that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
will save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "youngsters'" or "youngster's"?
youngsters
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
unnecessarily
roaming at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
.
Currently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters are going to late-night parties and day-by-day they are getting addicted to several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
spoils their health it
also
affects their academics and career.
For instance
, a recent survey by
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
The International Student Union
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
revealed that one-eighth of youngsters in the US
was addicted
to drugs, by this new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
will not
freely
roam at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not have any option
rather
than staying at home.
Moreover
, by this new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
, youngsters will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a quality time to spend with their family members which paves a way for better understanding with their parents.

On the contrary
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are doing a part-time job at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
youngsters are working at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
to pay their tuition fees and to satisfy their needs.
For example
, international students from other countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
currently
studying at the US are doing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
job to take care of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
needs. By this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
, youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
depend on someone for their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
needs


To conclude
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of not allowing youngsters to go outside at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
has more disadvantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
particularly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are working at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
.
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IELTS essay In Some Areas Of The US Teenagers Are Not Allowed To Be Out Of Doors After a Particular Time At Night. (13GT-1) (vinoth-11/01/21) (4)

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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