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In modern times, young adult are spending less time with their families and more time with their froends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

In modern times, young adult are spending less time with their families and more time with their froends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home? BG8X
Young people, in today’s world are more willing to spend time with their peers rather than with their families. However, I believe that this has changed because of the unavailability of parents at home and due to the parents busy schedule. Parents should analyze the factors which make the young individuals spend more time outside with friends and find out positive solutions instead of forcing them to stay home. The practise of spending time with friends started due to the change in societal structure. Mostly, in recent times, both parents go out to work which leaves little time for parents to spend with the young adults. Young adults need more attention and support at home and do not want to feel neglected. Many questions arise in the young minds which need to be answered and because of the age factor, young individuals face many difficulties which need to be addressed. Young adults want a listening ear, someone who can understand the problems and the thoughts. Because parents do not have ample time to spend with their children and cannot provide the right support which is needed at this age. That is why parents, young people look for support outside the homes in terms of friends. Moreover, friends are mostly of the same age which makes the young adults relate with the peers easily. Once young individuals are out, then they start liking the outside environment because then adults can explore the outside world along with friends without restrictions. Forcing adults to spend time at home is not a viable solution. This will only cause more damage and make young people more rebellious. Instead parents should analyze the factors why young people spend more time outside. By doing so, parents will be able to come to a conclusion of what is needed by young individuals, and the necessary measures which can be taken to provide the same at home. In addition, parents should stay at home more and create a friendly environment where individuals feel secured, protected and likely to spend the time at home. Moreover, a strong bond should be created among siblings to provide alternate support, so that even when parents are busy, young people can approach the siblings instead of going out to friends. To conclude, young individuals spend more time with friends due to the unavailability of required support at home. Pressurizing adults will only bring damage to them. Therefore, in my opinion, parents need to invest time at home and create a healthy environment where young adults can feel welcome and safe.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world are more willing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their peers
rather
than with their families.
However
, I believe that this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the unavailability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
at home and due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
busy schedule.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should analyze the factors which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and find out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
solutions
instead
of forcing them to stay home.

The
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in societal structure.
Mostly
, in recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
go out to work which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more attention and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
at home and do not want to feel neglected.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
questions arise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
minds which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be answered
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the age factor,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be addressed
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
want a listening ear, someone who can understand the problems and the thoughts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not have ample
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
with their children and cannot provide the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
which
is needed
at this age.
That is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
look for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are
mostly
of the same age which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
relate with the peers
easily
. Once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are out, then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
liking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
can explore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
world along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
without restrictions.

Forcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home is not a viable solution. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cause more damage and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more rebellious.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Instead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should analyze the factors why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a conclusion of what
is needed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, and the necessary measures which can
be taken
to provide the same at home.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should stay at home more and create a friendly environment where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
feel secured, protected and likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home.
Moreover
, a strong bond should
be created
among siblings to provide alternate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that even when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are busy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can approach the siblings
instead
of going out to friends.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
due to the unavailability of required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
at home. Pressurizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bring damage to them.
Therefore
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home and create a healthy environment where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
can feel welcome and safe.
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IELTS essay In modern times, young adult are spending less time with their families and more time with their froends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
426 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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