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In modern times, some species of animals are slowly disappearing do you think it is acceptable for species to become extent . what are the reason and its consequence?

In modern times, some species of animals are slowly disappearing do you think it is acceptable for species to become extent. what are the reason and its consequence? dDJY6
Animals play an important role in maintaining ecological balance. Nevertheless, nowadays, a few species of animals are in danger of extinction. The major reason for the exploitation of animals is human intervention in natural habitat along with, this can lead to irreversible consequences. Embarking with, there are plethora of reason for the loss of bio-diversity tend to be violation of their natural habitat, illegal hunting and poaching. For the sake of its own needs, people are expending their commercial infrastructure and also building their living place in forest land, resulting in animal being deprived form their area. Besides this, in order to obtain their fur, leather and teeth, animals have been killed by hunter. As per the newspaper 'The Time' recently reported that increasing number of animals are disappearing owing to illegal hunting and smuggling and The Indian Government impose new law to save the animals. Clearly, by hunting endangered species of animals, one can fulfill their basic and financial needs. However, due to deduction in number of living organisms, food chain likely to be get affected. Every species of wildlife plays a role to maintain the balance of life on the planet because all living creatures are interconnected with each other, if any species of predators die out, others living organism will increase and this can not only destroy crops but it will also reflect in the ecosystem of the earth. For instance, there are many bat species that are becoming extinct. Such bat help to keep this insect population in control. Thus, by protecting endangered animal human ensure their survival. In conclusion, by poaching and conducting illegal hunting human creates a great threat of animals. Therefore, it is essential to take timely measure that can address this wealth of earth and conserve animals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in maintaining ecological balance.
Nevertheless
, nowadays, a few species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of extinction. The major reason for the exploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is human intervention in natural habitat along with, this can lead to irreversible consequences. Embarking with, there are plethora of reason for the loss of bio-diversity tend to be violation of their natural habitat, illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
and poaching. For the sake of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
needs,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are expending their commercial infrastructure and
also
building their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
place in forest land, resulting in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
being deprived
form their area.
Besides
this, in order to obtain their fur, leather and teeth,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have
been killed
by hunter. As per the newspaper 'The Time' recently reported that increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are disappearing owing to illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
and smuggling and The Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
impose new law to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Clearly
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
endangered species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, one can fulfill their basic and financial needs.
However
, due to deduction in number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
organisms, food chain likely to be
Consider using a past participle here: "got", "gotten".
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
. Every species of wildlife plays a role to maintain the balance of life on the planet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
creatures
are interconnected
with each other, if any species of predators
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
out, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
organism will increase and this can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
crops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
also
reflect in the ecosystem of the earth.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
bat species that are becoming extinct. Such bat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
this insect population in control.
Thus
, by protecting endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
human ensure their survival.
In conclusion
, by poaching and conducting illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
human creates a great threat of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Therefore
, it is essential to take timely measure that can address this wealth of earth and conserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
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IELTS essay In modern times, some species of animals are slowly disappearing do you think it is acceptable for species to become extent. what are the reason and its consequence?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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