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In many parts of the world, people rely on private cars for transportation. In what ways does reliance on private cars affect the way we live? Do the effects tend to be positive or negative?

In many parts of the world, people rely on private cars for transportation. In what ways does reliance on private cars affect the way we live? Do the effects tend to be positive or negative? JLeW0
In most of the places people afford cars according to their range and intrest. Nowadays cars are seen frequently in many places as it had become an common thing or an necessary thing for everyone. As cars play a major role in transportation for travelling from one place to another there are private and public transportation in public transportation they provide trains, buses etc but in private transportation it only applies on cars for a family. Most of the family prefer for cars because they consider it as an advantage so level of freedom could be more and they could also spend time with the family alone and enjoy the ride these kind of things cant be seen in public transport so people mostly rely on private transport cars. There are several factors that create an negative effect on surroundings dur to private cars as if it is very crowded or populated city so large number of cars willl be used as it can affect the atmosphere by pollution the emmisiion of smoke from cars as if be prefer walking for short distances and public transport for large distances it will be ecofriendly for all. so concluding the private cars has advantage but it has negative impact more than the positive so reply on public transport is the correct decision.
In most of the places
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
afford
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cars
according to their range and
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intrest
. Nowadays
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cars
are
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seen
frequently
in
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many
places as it had become
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
common thing or
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
necessary thing for everyone. As
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cars
play a major role in
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transportation
for travelling from one place to another there are
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private
and
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public
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transportation
in
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public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
they provide trains, buses etc
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but
in
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private
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transportation
it
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only
applies on
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cars
for a family. Most of the family prefer for
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cars
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because
they consider it as an advantage
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so
level of freedom could be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
more and
they could
also
spend time with the family alone and enjoy the ride
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of things
Did you mean "can't" or "cannot"?
cant
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
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public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
mostly
rely on
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private
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transport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. There are several factors that create
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
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negative
effect on surroundings
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dur
to
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private
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cars
as if it is
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very
crowded or populated city
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so
large number of
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cars
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willl
be
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used
as it can affect the atmosphere by pollution the
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emmisiion
of smoke from
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cars
as if be
Consider using a past participle here: "preferred".
prefer
walking for short distances and
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public
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transport
for large distances it will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
ecofriendly
for all.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
concluding the
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private
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cars
has advantage
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but
it has
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negative
impact more than the
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positive
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so
reply on
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public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
is the correct decision.
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IELTS essay In many parts of the world, people rely on private cars for transportation. In what ways does reliance on private cars affect the way we live? Do the effects tend to be positive or negative?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
220 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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