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In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are committing more crimes. What are the causes? What can be done to solve the problem?

In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are committing more crimes. What are the causes? What can be done to solve the problem? KVKO6
It is undeniable that proportion of juvenile criminals surge exponentially in most countries across the world. There are several causes of this alarming phenomenon, but a variety of actions from their family as well as government could be certainly taken to tackle this issue. There are two main reasons why numerous adolescents have propensity for getting involved in illegal activities. The first factor is disadvantaged family environment such as single-parent, dsyfunctional and violent families. The young, who was born and grew up in these situations, may be easily led astray. The second reason worth pointing out is commercialized mass media which the majority of kids can gain access easily thanks to computers and cellphones. The videos, advertisements, documents on the Internet are besieged with an overflow of information on pornography, violent crime which may seriously corrupt the young’s innocent mind as well as arouse their violent impulse. There are a large number of solutions for government and their family could take to address this problem described above. In term of parents, they should take responsibility for educating about the danger of committing crime as well as guiding their children to abide the law, among which avoiding using illegal drug, burglar is a typical example. From national authority’s perspective, government can enact the relevant legislation to strengthen the censorship of social meidal. They may penalize on the websites, which disseminate vulgar or bloody cruel, to stay away toxic contents from the young generation. According to a popular newspaper, the proportion of offenders falling into 10-to 20-year old group plunged rapidly after conducting such measures. In conclusion, while there are several evident reasons that lead to this phenomenon, I firmly believe that the great effort from parents as well as government could reserve the issue.
It is undeniable that proportion of juvenile criminals surge
exponentially
in most countries across the world. There are several causes of this alarming phenomenon,
but
a variety of actions from their
family
as
well
as
government
could be
certainly
taken to tackle this issue.

There are two main reasons why numerous adolescents have propensity for getting involved in illegal activities. The
first
factor
is disadvantaged
family
environment such as single-parent,
dsyfunctional
and violent
families
. The young, who
was born
and grew up in these situations, may be
easily
led astray.
The
second reason worth pointing out
is commercialized
mass media which the majority of kids can gain access
easily
thanks to computers and cellphones.
The
videos, advertisements,
documents
on the Internet
are besieged
with an overflow of information on pornography, violent crime which may
seriously
corrupt the young’s innocent mind as
well
as arouse their violent impulse.

There are
a large number of
solutions for
government
and their
family
could take to address this problem
described
above. In term of parents, they should take responsibility for educating about the
danger
of committing crime as
well
as guiding their children to abide the law, among which avoiding using illegal drug, burglar is a typical example. From national authority’s perspective,
government
can enact the relevant legislation to strengthen the censorship of social
meidal
. They may penalize on the websites, which disseminate vulgar or bloody cruel, to stay away toxic contents from the young generation. According to a popular newspaper, the proportion of offenders falling into 10-to 20-year
old
group plunged
rapidly
after conducting such measures.

In conclusion
, while there are several evident reasons that lead to this phenomenon, I
firmly
believe that the great effort from parents as
well
as
government
could reserve the issue.
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Jules Michelet

IELTS essay In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are committing more crimes. What are the causes? What can be done to solve the problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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