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in many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring

in many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring x9gQ
The discourse regarding women merried is increasingly topical. Many people argue that merriage is not being neccesary for women in some nations due to the fact that they have able to obtain their revenue, so that, they do not need any men to support their economy. I agree with the statement mentioned because a majority of women on earth have more modern mindset that have been being indepence is their right. The vital argument for this is that the plethora of women nowadays have an equal level of job opportunities that make them feel more confident to be not dependence with men. This is to say that, they can fullfil their needs by their own money that is earned by the independent work without any interuptions from men. For instance, in the ancient Japan, women were not allowed to hold a managerial position in a commercial organization, even many of them were prohibited working outside their house. After the Japanese kingdom lost their superiority in the world war II, the system had altered by a number of people who were known as a feminist group to give a freedom for women do everything they want. Another compelling reason for women being not merried is that the vast majority of women in most countries in the world believe that merriege is not the last destination of life that is permit them for having a child. in other words, being a merried women is just another option of life that they can take it or leave it without any consideration. Additionally, if they want to have a baby, they can do it with any men who are committed for having sex without any merried processes. The other options, they can adopt some children from a poor family or orphanage house. In conclusion, recently, many women on earth prefer to not merried because they have the same opportunity as men for esteblishing their economy. They believe that merriage is not only the last chance for them as a human being.
The discourse regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
Possible spelling mistake found.
merried
is
increasingly
topical.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
Possible spelling mistake found.
merriage
is not being
Possible spelling mistake found.
neccesary
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations due to the fact that they have able to obtain their revenue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, they do not need any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
to support their economy. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
on earth have more modern mindset that have been being
Possible spelling mistake found.
indepence
is their right.

The vital argument for this is that the plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
nowadays have an equal level of job opportunities that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel more confident to be not dependence with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. This is to say that, they can
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfil
their needs by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
money that
is earned
by the independent work without any
Possible spelling mistake found.
interuptions
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
For instance
, in the ancient Japan,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to hold a managerial position in a commercial organization, even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them
were prohibited
working outside their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. After the Japanese kingdom lost their superiority in the
Capitalize specific historic events, episodes, and eras.
world war II
, the system had altered by a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
were known
as a feminist group to give
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "freedom".
a freedom
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
do everything they want.

Another compelling reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
being not
Possible spelling mistake found.
merried
is that the vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in most countries in the world believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
merriege
is not the last destination of life
that is
permit them for having a child.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
other words, being a
Possible spelling mistake found.
merried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
another option of life that they can take it or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
it without any consideration.
Additionally
, if they want to have a baby, they can do it with any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
who
are committed
for having sex without any
Possible spelling mistake found.
merried
processes. The other options, they can adopt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children from a poor family or orphanage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

In conclusion
, recently,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
on earth prefer to not
Possible spelling mistake found.
merried
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have the same opportunity as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
esteblishing
their economy. They believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
merriage
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the last chance for them as a human being.
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IELTS essay in many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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