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In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree?

In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. 2bK5o
It cannot be denied fact that marriage is compulsory to run their next generation in today world. few masses think that this is because of women are able to earn their income therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring I completely agree with this school of thought this essay will discuss whole scenario in detail before portraying any relevant conclusion. To commence with, there are multiple reason to support my notion first and foremost in past time girl are allowed to get education because domestic violence. moreover, value of men was more because men’s were earning handsome salary therefore only men had right to go school for studies. Secondly, at last pervious year girl parents get their child married after 16 year because they think girl are only burden they are only waste of money. that’s why they use to get married. however now the world had Totally been changed for example now women move step by step with men. They can all types of work which man can do. Today are girls are forward in education field, sport field, and many other field Moving further, women do not want to be married firstly, they would have their own freedom they think that if they will married they will no right to work out and will need to follow rules and regulation of their other home Secondly, in today era women are good qualified. there is thinking very high To get Handsome salary and also think that after getting married who will care about their birth given parents. finally, and also girls are worried about that if I get married my home will provide me to go on job and I can have all rights to go out. that women not use to get married. In conclusion, in my opinion marriage is not that much necessary because in today’s world women have all right and freedom to whatever they want to do.
It cannot
be denied
fact that marriage is compulsory to run their
next
generation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
world.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
few
masses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are able to earn their income
therefore
do not require the financial security that marriage can bring I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
this essay will discuss whole scenario in detail
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
portraying any relevant conclusion.

To commence with, there are multiple reason to support my notion
first
and foremost in
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
domestic violence.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
, value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
was more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men’s
were earning handsome salary
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to go school for studies.
Secondly
, at last
Possible spelling mistake found.
pervious
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their child married after 16 year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
burden they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
waste of money.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
’s why they
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
however
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the world had
Totally
been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
for example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
step by step with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. They can all types of work which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
can do.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Today
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are forward in education field, sport field, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
field


Moving
further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
do not want to
be married
firstly
, they would have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
freedom they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that if they will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "marry"
married
they will no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to work out and will need to follow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation of their other home
Secondly
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
qualified.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
is thinking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Handsome salary and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that after getting married who will care about their birth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
parents.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
finally
, and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are worried
about that if I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married my home will provide me to go on job and I can have all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
to go out.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
not
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married.

In conclusion
, in my opinion marriage is not that much necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today’s
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and freedom to whatever they want to do.

IELTS essay In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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