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In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment bYboX
Enrolling for university studies is an important step in peoples` lives and the decision about what course to follow should be a well thought action. I believe that a person needs to take all the actions in order to succeed in a career started at the university and continued in later stages in the work field, although many graduates are not able to find employment after their studies. I personally know many people from my country, Romania, who cannot find work in the area studied during university and even struggle to get employment anywhere else. Therefore, they prefer to work as unqualified personnel in order to earn their living. Even in the UK I have met people with university studies who decided to get qualified into a field where more workforces are needed, like security. In my point of view, one of the reasons might be that the students have not studied hard enough during their time in university. Just going to university and being paid maintenance loans by Student Finance and not caring too much about your studies will not help you afterwards. In the same time, choosing the area where you want to work is an important aspect. For example, if you are a graduate in Tourism you should try to find employment in regions with touristic potential. On the other hand, I believe that the universities should have good connections with local employers and give their students indications and advice about where to start their career. A university that is not connected to economical prospects and that cannot update their curriculum accordingly will not be able offer the students a good start in their careers.
Enrolling for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
studies is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
step in peoples`
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and the decision about what course to follow should be a well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
action. I believe that a person needs to take all the actions in order to succeed in a career
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and continued in later stages in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
field, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
graduates are not able to find employment after their studies.

I
personally
know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from my country, Romania, who cannot find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the area studied during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and even struggle to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employment anywhere else.
Therefore
, they prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as unqualified personnel in order to earn their living. Even in the UK I have met
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
studies who decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
qualified into a field where more
Possible spelling mistake found.
workforces
are needed
, like security.

In my point of view, one of the reasons might be that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have not studied
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
during their time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and
being paid
maintenance loans by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Student
Finance and not caring too much about your studies will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you afterwards. In the same time, choosing the area where you want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect.
For example
, if you are a graduate in Tourism you should try to find employment in regions with touristic potential.

On the other hand
, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
connections with local employers and give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
indications and advice about where to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their career. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
that is
not connected to
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
prospects and that cannot update their curriculum
accordingly
will not be
The preposition 'to' is required in front of the verb 'offer'.
able offer
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
in their careers.
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IELTS essay In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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