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In many countries today, major big cities are more big and overcrowded. Why is this? GIve your opinion

In many countries today, major big cities are more big and overcrowded. Why is this? GIve your opinion Mww1k
In developing world the space in the big cities has been decreased significantly due to the movement of citizen from rural areas. They hope to find more careers in the centre so that their quality of life may increase. However, in my opinion, this trend brings back more drawbacks than advantages. There are some underlying explanations for the overcrowded in the city centre nowadays. First of all, there are a large amount of career opportunities in the cities that outweighted the need of employment in the rural areas. As a result, to climb on the career ladders, workers prefer to move to the cities to get a job that latter have prospect to promotion. Secondly, more facets of life are met the requirement of citizers in the major cities than others. Student who want to study university and higher education must more to the big city that have a reputation academy. To prepare the best for their kids, parents tend to have a job and live the city regardless of their hometown. Living in major big city is considered to be best preparation for the future of the young generation. The overcrowded in the city contre cause more positive effects on community than the negative. Moving into the city in the larger quantity at a short amount of time can cause detrimental effects on infrastructure. Government can not prepare enough facilities for citizen including house, clean water and other equipments. They may face up to the risk of living under quality in the first time moving to the cities. In addition, there is a lack of employment in rural area. Although here small cities still have residents, employment decreased sharply so that there is not enough people in public places such as hospital or station. One more negative point of surpass people in the city that their life may harder due to a larger amount competitors in career and academy. Consequently, crime may occur because of competitions In conclusion, because of the desire to be in the better quality of life, major city center are being overcrowded. This brings back many disadvantages to both city and residents who live there
In developing world the space in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has
been decreased
significantly
due to the movement of citizen from rural areas. They hope to find more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that their quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
may increase.
However
, in my opinion, this trend brings back more drawbacks than advantages.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
underlying explanations for the overcrowded in the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
nowadays.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there are a large
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "amounts"?
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
opportunities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
outweighted
the need of employment in the rural areas.
As a result
, to climb on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
ladders, workers prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job
The verb 'have' is plural. Did you mean: "that latter has"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that latter have
prospect to promotion.
Secondly
, more facets of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are met
the requirement of
Possible spelling mistake found.
citizers
in the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
than others. Student who want to study university and higher education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
more to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city that have a reputation academy. To prepare the best for their kids, parents tend to have a job and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the city regardless of their hometown. Living in major
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city
is considered
to
A determiner is probably missing here: "be the best".
be best
preparation for the future of the young generation.

The overcrowded in the city
Possible spelling mistake found.
contre
cause more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on community than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. Moving into the city in the larger quantity at a short amount of time can cause detrimental effects on infrastructure.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
can not prepare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
facilities for citizen including
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, clean water and other equipments. They may face up to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of living under quality in the
first
time moving to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
In addition
, there is a lack of employment in rural area. Although here
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
still
have residents, employment decreased
sharply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in public places such as hospital or station. One more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
point of surpass
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the city that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
may harder due to a larger amount competitors in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and academy.
Consequently
, crime may occur
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of competitions

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the desire to be in the better quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, major city center are
being overcrowded
. This brings back
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages to both city and residents who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
there
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IELTS essay In many countries today, major big cities are more big and overcrowded. Why is this? GIve your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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