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In many countries today is insufficient respect to old people. What are the reasons? What problems might it bring to the society?

In many countries today is insufficient respect to old people. What are the reasons? What problems might it bring to the society? pR6B9
Nowadays, etiquettes towards the senior citiznes are dwindling day-by-day in number of nations. This essay will discuss the reasons behind this situation and the problems causes it to the communities in detail. To begin with, one evident reason is that, nowadays, people are becoming more and more self-independent and thought they don't require any support from elders. For example, individuals are able to feed their family one handedly, so, they do not need any finanacial help from their guardians. Furthermore, it might be possible, in the old ages peoples brain doesn't work properly and they may ended up with blunder which causes huge loss for the youngsters. In addition, in the most cases, senior citizens are may be became burden on their children as they are not well either physically or mentally. Eventually, youth do not repsects their parents in their 70s or 80s. On the other hand, these kinds of trend may bring various drawbacks to the society. Firstly, the figures of opening old-age home are soaring in a number of countries. In the other words, people tends to be leave their parents at special kind of home in which volunteers took care of the old people. Recently, one survey revealed that, In India the numbers of opening new old-age home are increase to 700 from 250 in just last one decade. Secondly, one major disadvantage is that society might be loses good advisors who have vast knowledge and experience of particular ancient things which is known by only them. As a repercussion, communities would not have any right source of ancient information. However, plenty of content availabel on the internet today but it might be provide wrong details sometimes. In conclusion, personally, I think that, at present for several reasons the respects towards the older people are decreasing, consequently, societies will have to face number of serious consequences.
Nowadays,
Possible spelling mistake found.
etiquettes
towards the senior
Possible spelling mistake found.
citiznes
are dwindling day-by-day in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of nations. This essay will discuss the reasons behind this situation and the problems causes it to the communities in detail.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one evident reason is that, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming more and more self-independent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
they don't require any support from elders.
For example
, individuals are able to feed their family one
Possible spelling mistake found.
handedly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they do not need any
Possible spelling mistake found.
finanacial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from their guardians.
Furthermore
, it might be possible, in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
brain doesn't work
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
properly and
they may
The verb 'may' requires the base form of the verb: "end"
ended
up with blunder which causes huge loss for the youngsters.
In addition
, in the most cases, senior citizens are may be
Consider using a past participle here: "become".
became
burden on their children as they are not well either
physically
or mentally.
Eventually
, youth do not
Possible spelling mistake found.
repsects
their parents in their 70s or 80s.

On the other hand
, these kinds of trend may bring various drawbacks to the society.
Firstly
, the figures of opening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-age home are soaring in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of countries. In the other words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
tends
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their parents at special kind of home in which volunteers took care of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Recently, one survey revealed that, In India the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of opening new
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-age home are increase to 700 from 250 in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
last one decade.
Secondly
, one major disadvantage is that society might be loses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
advisors who have vast knowledge and experience of particular ancient things which
is known
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
them. As a repercussion, communities would not have any right source of ancient information.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of content
Possible spelling mistake found.
availabel
on the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it might be
Consider using the past participle "provided"?
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
.

In conclusion
,
personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, at present for several reasons the respects towards the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are decreasing,
consequently
, societies will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of serious consequences.
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IELTS essay In many countries today is insufficient respect to old people. What are the reasons? What problems might it bring to the society?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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