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in many countries,the government prohibits underage children from getting full time-jobs. is it a good or bad thing?

in many countries, the government prohibits underage children from getting full time-jobs. is it a good or bad thing? BJ7ow
Most of the nation, It is seen that offsprings are restricted by the bureaucrats from doing the full time work. I agreed with the former statement. I will explain in the successive paragraphs. To begin with, children will become weak in their academic because they have to concentrate on both their duties and studies. They will not give the appropriate time to their education. Hence, Their educational base will be hampered that will influence to their future. Moreover, They will not provide the efficiency of their tasks. Thus, They will become less productive. Ultimately, The work area will suffer. Therefore, They should not be allowed for jobs. Further move, It increases the overburden on the teenagers. Their stress level would be high. So, it will prevent their physical and mental growth. It may generate the diseases. Consequently, Their health level will down. Furthermore, They will not participate in the extra curricular activities or any sports. Their schedule will become hectic. This will prevent their natural growth. Thus, They should be permitted for extra activities rather than studies. To summarize, Higher authorities should not be authorized to toddlers for the duties rather than educations. The infants should concentrate on their studies. But government should allow them for some hours in a week. So that, They will earn some money for their personal expanses that will relief the extra financial burden of the non affluent families.
Most of the nation, It is
seen
that
offsprings
are restricted
by the bureaucrats from doing the full time work. I
agreed
with the former statement. I will
explain
in the successive paragraphs.

To
begin
with, children will become weak in their academic
because
they
have to
concentrate on both their duties and studies. They will not give the appropriate time to their education.
Hence
, Their educational base will
be hampered
that will influence to their future.
Moreover
, They will not provide the efficiency of their tasks.
Thus
, They will become less productive.
Ultimately
, The work area will suffer.
Therefore
, They should not be
allowed
for jobs.

Further
move
, It increases the overburden on the
teenagers
. Their
stress
level would be high.
So
, it will
prevent
their physical and mental growth. It may generate the diseases.
Consequently
, Their health level will down.
Furthermore
, They will not participate in the
extra curricular
activities or any sports. Their schedule will become hectic. This will
prevent
their natural growth.
Thus
, They should
be permitted
for extra activities
rather
than studies.

To summarize
, Higher authorities should not
be authorized
to toddlers for the duties
rather
than educations. The infants should concentrate on their studies.
But
government
should
allow
them for
some
hours in a week.
So
that, They will earn
some
money for their personal expanses that will relief the extra financial burden of the
non affluent
families.
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IELTS essay in many countries, the government prohibits underage children from getting full time-jobs. is it a good or bad thing?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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