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In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think that the government should spend more money on health and education. This is a controversial theme, because there are some people who agree and who are disagree with this. In my opinion, although arts are relevant for society, spending on health and education is more important. First of all, the arts are relevant for a country, since they can bring awareness about society’s issues. Thus, it is part of a government duty investing in music and video production among other types of arts. For example, an inequality of opportunities for people coming from suburban areas can be expressed by the music produced by authors which are living in that region. Consequently, the authority investing on several kinds of arts is a way of allowing people to express their reality. On the other hand, health and education are essential blocks for a country’s wealth and I think, it is

In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think that the government should spend more money on health and education. This is a controversial theme, because there are some people who agree and who are disagree with this. In my opinion, although arts are relevant for society, spending on health and education is more important. First of all, the arts are relevant for a country, since they can bring awareness about society’s issues. Thus, it is part of a government duty investing in music and video production among other types of arts. For example, an inequality of opportunities for people coming from suburban areas can be expressed by the music produced by authors which are living in that region. Consequently, the authority investing on several kinds of arts is a way of allowing people to express their reality. On the other hand, health and education are essential blocks for a country’s wealth and I think, it is PVg3j
In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think that the government should spend more money on health and education. This is a controversial theme, because there are some people who agree and who are disagree with this. In my opinion, although arts are relevant for society, spending on health and education is more important. First of all, the arts are relevant for a country, since they can bring awareness about society’s issues. Thus, it is part of a government duty investing in music and video production among other types of arts. For example, an inequality of opportunities for people coming from suburban areas can be expressed by the music produced by authors which are living in that region. Consequently, the authority investing on several kinds of arts is a way of allowing people to express their reality. On the other hand, health and education are essential blocks for a country’s wealth and I think, it is more important than investing in art. It wouldn’t be any progress in every sphere of country where people live in a bad conditions and haven’t any educational degree. The most important thing that people who hasn’t any opportunities to have a good education and health care, they can’t interested in arts or other branches of advertising. In conclusion, even though the arts are important for expressing different society’s realities, a proper medical care system and quality education are core necessities for a country. Then, I believe that the government should invest more on health and education than on the arts.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
likes to spend more money on the
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arts
.
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Some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this.
However
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend more money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and education.

This is a controversial theme,
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because
there are
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some
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people
who
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agree
and who are
Consider using a past participle here: "disagreed".
disagree
with this. In my opinion, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are relevant for society, spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are relevant for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, since they can bring awareness about society’s issues.
Thus
, it is part of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
duty investing in music and video production among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
For example
, an inequality of opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming from suburban areas can
be expressed
by the music produced by authors which are living in that region.
Consequently
, the authority investing on several kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is a way of allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to express their reality.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are essential blocks for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
wealth and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. It wouldn’t be any progress in every sphere of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
conditions and haven’t any educational degree. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
hasn
’t any opportunities to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
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health
care, they can’t
The verb 'can't' requires base form of this verb: "interest"
interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
branches of advertising.

In conclusion
,
even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for expressing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
society’s realities, a proper medical care system and quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are core necessities for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Then, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should invest more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
than on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
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IELTS essay In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think that the government should spend more money on health and education. This is a controversial theme, because there are some people who agree and who are disagree with this. In my opinion, although arts are relevant for society, spending on health and education is more important. First of all, the arts are relevant for a country, since they can bring awareness about society’s issues. Thus, it is part of a government duty investing in music and video production among other types of arts. For example, an inequality of opportunities for people coming from suburban areas can be expressed by the music produced by authors which are living in that region. Consequently, the authority investing on several kinds of arts is a way of allowing people to express their reality. On the other hand, health and education are essential blocks for a country’s wealth and I think, it is

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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