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In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing, what do you think are the main cause of the crime? how can we deal with that cause?

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing, what do you think are the main cause of the crime? how can we deal with that cause? bBgB
As we are moving towards the era of the modern world, different types of crimes are increasing day by day. Even though the rate of progress is really fast, this progress has not decreased the rate of crime in the world rather we are witnessing the hike in the rate. This essay will discuss the main cause of this problem and it will give suggestion to deal with the cause. There are many reasons for the hike in the crime but the most conspicuous stems out from the fact that the gap between rich and poor is significantly increasing every day. Moreover, because of the gap, poor people try to snatch their rights by committing crimes. Furthermore, financially suffered people because of the rich and poor gap commits crime to fulfil their family needs. For example, if poor people didn’t get the job after graduation then they will get depressed as well as they will select the wrong path such as becoming assassinator, thieves. Therefore, many countries in the world are suffering from crime because of gap in the finance system. The most efficient way to handle this problem is to give equal opportunity to all classes of the world. By doing so government is giving security to career of all citizens of the country which will indirectly encourage youngsters to work hard of it. Also, this idea will not only decrease the poverty level but also increase the literacy rate which will build the reputation of the country. As an illustration, when people will get to know that they are getting a job because of that their family needs can be fulfilled then they will not choose to commit crime rather they will live the normal life. Thus, the government efforts to provide opportunities can save many teenagers to go after the crime world. As we will enter in to the new world of technology many people will find ways to cheat others and make their ways. The best way to deal with this problem of crime is to provide everyone with the same amount of chances in the world.
As we are moving towards the era of the modern
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world
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are increasing day by day.
Even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of progress is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
, this progress has not decreased the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
rather
we are witnessing the hike in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
. This essay will discuss the main cause of this problem and it will give suggestion to deal with the cause.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for the hike in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most conspicuous stems out from the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between rich and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
is
significantly
increasing every day.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to snatch their rights by committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
Furthermore
,
financially
suffered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the rich and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
commits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
to fulfil their family needs.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
didn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the job after graduation then they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
depressed
as well
as they will select the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path such as becoming
Possible spelling mistake found.
assassinator
, thieves.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
are suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
in the finance system.

The most efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to handle this problem is to give equal opportunity to all classes of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is giving security to career of all citizens of the country which will
indirectly
encourage youngsters to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
of it.
Also
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
decrease the poverty level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
increase the literacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
which will build the reputation of the country. As an illustration, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know that they are getting a job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that their family needs can
be fulfilled
then they will not choose to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rather
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the normal life.
Thus
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
efforts to provide opportunities can save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to go after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
world.

As we will enter in to the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
of technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to cheat others and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
. The best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to deal with this problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is to provide everyone with the same amount of chances in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
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IELTS essay In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing, what do you think are the main cause of the crime? how can we deal with that cause?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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