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in many countries, people spend more time at workplace. Why? Is this a positive or development?

in many countries, people spend more time at workplace. Why? Is this a positive or development? OV6NM
Many nations around the world are experiencing a phenomenon that employees are staying at their workplace longer than ever before. This is down to the invisibly harsh working competition at many levels, resulting in positive economic progress but serious problems to the staff themselves. It is undeniable that competitions are ubiquitous in modern economy, both within and outside companies. To achieve highest possible net profits, enterprises often try to cut down their investment, including the one for human resources. Limiting the number of employees means that each individual would have to do more tasks, leading to spending more time at their work place. In addition, contemporary corporations often pay extra compensation to those who work overtime with highly attractive rate, making many workers want to come home even later or give up weekend for their employers’ orders. This increasingly working trend is beneficial only for the economy, not for the labours. From an economic perspective, collective time-consuming tasks of individuals would lead to more economic activities being implemented in a larger social scale, ultimately bringing more prosperity for the society. On a personal level, however, that would damage workers’ physical and mental health in many unexpected ways such as causing sleep deprivation, stress or cardio-vascular diseases in the long term, according to many studies. Consequently, they would lose not only their own health but also productivity for which they are hired by enterprises. In conclusion, the roots of the issue of people spending more time at the workplace are the profit race between companies as well as employees’ desire of gaining salary as high as possible. This trend might sound like good news for the economy, but totally a hidden danger for these individuals in terms of health and prospective work progress.
Many
nations around the world are experiencing a phenomenon that employees are staying at their workplace longer than ever
before
. This is down to the
invisibly
harsh working competition at
many
levels, resulting in
positive
economic progress
but
serious problems to the staff themselves.

It is undeniable that competitions are ubiquitous in modern economy, both within and outside
companies
. To achieve
highest
possible net profits, enterprises
often
try to
cut
down their investment, including the one for human resources. Limiting the number of employees means that each individual would
have to
do more tasks, leading to spending more time at their work place.
In addition
, contemporary corporations
often
pay extra compensation to those who work overtime with
highly
attractive rate, making
many
workers want to
come
home even later or give up weekend for their employers’ orders.

This
increasingly
working trend is beneficial
only
for the economy, not for the
labours
. From an economic perspective, collective time-consuming tasks of individuals would lead to more economic activities
being implemented
in a larger social scale,
ultimately
bringing more prosperity for the society. On a personal level,
however
, that would damage workers’ physical and mental health in
many
unexpected ways such as causing sleep deprivation,
stress
or cardio-vascular diseases in the long term, according to
many
studies.
Consequently
, they would lose not
only
their
own
health
but
also
productivity for which they
are hired
by enterprises.

In conclusion
, the roots of the issue of
people
spending more time at the workplace are the profit race between
companies
as well
as employees’ desire of gaining salary as high as possible. This trend might sound like
good
news for the economy,
but
totally
a hidden
danger
for these individuals in terms of health and prospective work progress.
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IELTS essay in many countries, people spend more time at workplace. Why? Is this a positive or development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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