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In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone(cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

In the contemporary era, technology and gadgets are taking over the traditional methods of spending money. Nevertheless, the mobile phone plays an integral and pivotal role in connecting people around the world, but with the passage of time, its usage and applications in different fields are getting diverse. Nowadays, mobile apps are used for paying utility bills, banking, and shopping. This payment method has eased the people in many aspects like it is hassle-free, reliable, and more secure. Furthermore, it helps investors across different regions to invest anywhere in the world, as a result, the economy of the country also grows. To commence with, mobile apps have tremendously eased the way of shopping, items delivery and travel. Paper money has always been a hassle to carry and keep secure. Especially when one is traveling and must keep the large amount considering all expenditures and currency of different countries. At every short stay, his focus is to keep money at safe place, so he is not deprived of it. All this effort puts extra tension and stress in mind, but now all these expenses can be catered through mobile phone applications. These are not only safe and secure but in case if anyone tries to invade the account, alerts and notifications are sent to the account holder and respective authorities. Additionally, the shopping methods have been revolutionized. Whether you shop at a store or online by simple click payment can be made. Hotels, pharmacies, and stores are following the same method of payment. Furthermore, this has reduced the efforts of the cashier or delivery boy in counting cash and saved them from stealers as all the payments are taking online. In conclusion, the online payments carried through mobile phones have not only eased the consumers but also have benefited the investors and travelers. This method is being adapted by a plethora of countries due to its ease and secure methods.
In the contemporary era, technology and gadgets are taking over the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
of spending money.
Nevertheless
, the mobile phone plays an integral and pivotal role in connecting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the passage of time, its usage and applications in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields are getting diverse. Nowadays, mobile apps are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for paying utility bills, banking, and shopping. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eased
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects like it is hassle-free, reliable, and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
.
Furthermore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
investors across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions to invest anywhere in the world,
as a result
, the economy of the country
also
grows.

To commence with, mobile apps have
tremendously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eased
the way of shopping, items delivery and travel. Paper money has always been a hassle to carry and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
.
Especially
when one is traveling and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the large amount considering all expenditures and currency of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries. At every short stay, his focus is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
money at safe place,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he is not deprived of it. All this effort puts extra tension and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in mind,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
all these expenses can
be catered
through mobile phone applications. These are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
safe and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in case if anyone tries to invade the account, alerts and notifications are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to the account holder and respective authorities.

Additionally
, the shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
have
been revolutionized
. Whether you shop at a store or online by simple click
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
can
be made
. Hotels, pharmacies, and stores are following the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
.
Furthermore
, this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the efforts of the cashier or delivery boy in counting cash and saved them from
Possible spelling mistake found.
stealers
as all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payments
are taking online.

In conclusion
, the online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payments
carried through mobile phones have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eased
the consumers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
have benefited the investors and travelers. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
is
being adapted
by a plethora of countries due to its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
.
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IELTS essay In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone(cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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