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In many countries nowadays, people stay with their parents even after they are married. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages?

In many countries nowadays, people stay with their parents even after they are married. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages? okeNB
In many countries nowadays, it has been estimated that more than half of all families are still living with their parents after mariage. There will always be many people who believe that living with their parents after marriage will lead to happier lives for their children. And while it may cause difficulties, it can also bring advantages to the family. On the one hand, sharing a house together with parents after getting married can be of great benefits. Firstly, the lifestyles of young people are becoming more and more hectic with limitless load of work and pressure, thereby having less time to take care of their children as well as their own houses. Having parent to share the burden of childcare or household chores. Secondly, by living together, both parents and their children will save on such living expenses as rent, utility bills, renovations or shared grocery bills which significantly decreases financial pressures for both. Therefore, they can accumulate some savings to use for the future
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries nowadays, it has
been estimated
that more than half of all families are
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
after
Possible spelling mistake found.
mariage
. There will always be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
after marriage will lead to happier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
for their children. And while it may cause difficulties, it can
also
bring advantages to the family. On the one hand, sharing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
together with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
after getting married can be of great benefits.
Firstly
, the lifestyles of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are becoming more and more hectic with limitless load of work and pressure, thereby having less time to take care of their children
as well
as their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
to share the burden of childcare or household chores.
Secondly
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
together, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and their children will save on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
expenses as rent, utility bills, renovations or shared grocery bills which
significantly
decreases financial pressures for both.
Therefore
, they can accumulate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
savings to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for the future
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IELTS essay In many countries nowadays, people stay with their parents even after they are married. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
165 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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