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In many countries, mainly tourists ,but not local people, visit museums and historical sites. Why does this happen, and what could be done to attract more local people to visit these places ?

In many countries, mainly tourists, but not local people, visit museums and historical sites. Why does this happen, and what could be done to attract more local people to visit these places? bjwq
Museums and other historical places seem to be less appealing to the people residing nearby but at the same time attracts alot of visitors from places far away. This could be due to the lack of interest among the local people. However certain measures can be applied in order to overcome this happening. The first reason is due to the fact that many local people take these heritages for granted. They reckon that these sites are going nowhere and so they will visit then sooner or later. However the time seldom comes when they take time out of their hectic schedule to travel to these places. On the other hand, the tourists travel to such destinations with a motive to witness all the cultural heritages and historic museums. For instance, I visited Hyderabad in order to see the Ramoji film city which is the biggest film city in the world. While my relatives residing in Hyderabad had never been there. In fact they decided to see it only after listening to my comments. Another reason is that nothing new is being added to these places and so the people who have already been there do not wish to frequent again and again. In other words, the organization of new programs are few and do not intrigue the locals. Furthermore the charges for visiting these sites are too high as people are often requires to buy expensive tickets. In order to augment the interest of people in coming to museums, multitude of ways can be employed. School trips can be organized for children so that they could learn several things which in turn boosts their cognitive skills. Moreover the passes for entry into these heritages could be arranged for the locals. In addition, a day could be fixed every month when the entry is made free. For example, the entry to war memorial is free on every first tuesday and there is great rush of people on that day. To conclude, albeit some people do not pay much heed to these sites, steps like organising educational trips and providing free passes could help in expanding the number of people getting attracted towards such places.
Museums and other historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
seem to be less appealing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
residing nearby
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time attracts
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of visitors from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
far away. This could be due to the lack of interest among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
certain measures can
be applied
in order to overcome this happening. The
first
reason is due to the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take these heritages for granted. They reckon that these sites are going
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
nowhere and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will visit then sooner or later.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the time seldom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
when they take time out of their hectic schedule to travel to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
On the other hand
, the tourists travel to such destinations with a motive to witness all the cultural heritages and historic museums.
For instance
, I visited Hyderabad in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ramoji
film city which is the biggest film city in the world.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
my relatives residing in Hyderabad had never been there. In
The comma is probably missing here: "fact, they".
fact they
decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after listening to my comments. Another reason is that nothing new is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have already been there do not wish to frequent again and again.
In other words
, the organization of new programs are few and do not intrigue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
the charges for visiting these sites are too high as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
requires to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
expensive tickets. In order to augment the interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in coming to museums, multitude of ways can
be employed
. School trips can
be organized
for children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could learn several things which in turn boosts their cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the passes for entry into these heritages could
be arranged
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
.
In addition
, a day could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
every month when the entry
is made
free.
For example
, the entry to war memorial is free on every
first
Possible spelling mistake found.
tuesday
and there is great rush of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on that day.
To conclude
, albeit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not pay much heed to these sites, steps like
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organise' and 'organize') within a single text.
organising
educational trips and providing free passes could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in expanding the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting attracted towards such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
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IELTS essay In many countries, mainly tourists, but not local people, visit museums and historical sites. Why does this happen, and what could be done to attract more local people to visit these places?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
363 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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