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In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong. with this opinion? Ye6N
Children in many countries all over the world take up on work to earn some money. While it can be a positive thing for their development of social and economic skills, I believe in some cases it should be forbidden. All the benefits can be lost if the child is forced to have a job to provide for the family. The primary reason parents might want their child to have a paid work is teaching them responsibility. Whereas the family is not necessarily poor, taking a job can provide a lot of advantages in development of their offspring, such as showing them the value of money and respect towards other working people. For example, in the USA it is popular for young children to have a lemonade stand on the streets where people crossing by can cool themselves down with the beverage for small amount of money. That gives those children a sense of accomplishment and little savings which they can decide how to use. On the contrary, I believe this can arise a problem of children exploitation, especially if the parents are poor and they force their young ones to get a job. This can be devastating to the childhood and not provide any reasonable benefits in the future. For instance, China has a very well-developed chains of factories which hire children at incredibly young age, kids work most of the day, skipping school and for truly little wage. To conclude, while I believe paid work can bring benefits in the socio-economic development for child it has to be well-balanced with other aspects such as simply being a kid and having time to play too. When the labor starts to be a burden and out of necessity, it literally robs children from their childhood and does not bring anything good to their future.
Children
in
many
countries all over the world take up on
work
to earn
some
money. While it can be a
positive
thing for their development of social and economic
skills
, I believe in
some
cases it should
be forbidden
. All the benefits can
be lost
if the child
is forced
to have a job to provide for the family.

The primary reason parents might want their child to have a paid
work
is teaching them responsibility. Whereas the family is not
necessarily
poor, taking a job can provide
a lot of
advantages in development of their offspring, such as showing them the value of money and respect towards other working
people
.
For example
, in the USA it is popular for young
children
to have a lemonade stand on the streets where
people
crossing by can cool themselves down with the beverage for
small
amount of money. That gives those
children
a sense of accomplishment and
little
savings which they can decide how to
use
.

On the contrary
, I believe this can arise a problem of
children
exploitation,
especially
if the parents are
poor and
they force their young ones to
get
a job. This can be devastating to the childhood and not provide any reasonable benefits in the future.
For instance
, China has a
very
well-developed chains of factories which hire
children
at
incredibly
young age, kids
work
most of the day, skipping school and for
truly
little
wage.

To conclude
, while I believe paid
work
can bring benefits in the
socio-economic
development for child it
has to
be well-balanced with other aspects such as
simply
being a kid and having time to play too. When the labor
starts
to be a burden and out of necessity, it
literally
robs
children
from their childhood and does not bring anything
good
to their future.
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IELTS essay In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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