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In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this issue?

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this issue? MQ3q
I personally think, engaging children in some sorts of paid works is always open for debate. This is a topical question nowadays. Both education and job are essential for children in which successful job is obtained through the quality of education. “Children engaged in some kinds of paid works” is similar to a coin which has two sides. On one hand, every child must be educated firstly, so that the child may have exposed to all types of subjects like Mathematics, Science, Social-Science etc. So when children grow, they may have the right to choose the field they are most interested in and may enhance the knowledge that supports to implement the skills learned to create miracles in the challenging world. If a child was not educated and engaged in some paid works results in no exposure to such fields and adheres to chores child indulged. On the other hand, it is always rudimentary to have responsibilities for a child if he comes up with poor background or poverty. So, here the financial condition of a family forces the child to get involved in paid works. Fortunately having a job in childhood, adds huge valuable experience to the personality. If the child was gifted with some entrepreneurship skills, this experience helps a lot to establish own industry and will have an opportunity to provide jobs for other people in need. Apart from that learning helps a lot and plays a vital role here. For instance, he can solve any problem on his own through learning and experience.
I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, engaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
works is always open for debate. This is a topical question nowadays. Both education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
are essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in which successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is obtained
through the quality of education.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“Children
engaged in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
works” is similar to a coin which has two sides.

On one hand, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be educated
firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
may have exposed to all types of subjects like Mathematics, Science, Social-Science etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow, they may have the right to choose the field they are most interested in and may enhance the knowledge that supports to implement the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
learned to create miracles in the challenging world. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
was not educated and engaged in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
works results in no exposure to such fields and adheres to chores
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
indulged.

On the other hand
, it is always rudimentary to have responsibilities for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
if he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
up with poor background or poverty.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, here the financial condition of a family forces the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
works.
Fortunately
having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in childhood,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
huge valuable experience to the personality. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
was gifted
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
entrepreneurship
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, this experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a lot to establish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
industry and will have an opportunity to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in need. Apart from that learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a lot and plays a vital role here.
For instance
, he can solve any problem on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
through learning and experience.
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IELTS essay In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this issue?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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