Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many countries children are engaged in different kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion?

In many countries children are engaged in different kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion? 1pRM
The issue of whether or not children should be engaged in some paid work has sparked a heated debate. While some argue that having some employment experience is conducive to a child’s learning and development, I contend that it would bring harm to the child’s heath and learning. First of all, a workplace designed for adults is normally shortage of child-friendly facilities. Desks and chairs are too high for a child; the light switches are installed on the walls unreachable by children; also emergency training and facilities such as phones are only provided to adults. Furthermore, various hazards such as polluted air and chemical fumes are still produced in factories and farms. Undoubtedly young people would suffer in such workplaces. Also, children would find it frustrating when they are not properly inducted before starting a job. A child working in a cement factory would feel a setback when he could not get immediate support while struggling with the procedures of recording different raw materials that is required by the job. Further, without sufficient support, a child’s misunderstanding or inappropriately communicating with adults would only disappoint him and prevents him from active learning and interacting with other people. To conclude, a child’s paid employment experience would lead to a negative impact on their health and active learning. However, recognizing the importance of children’s learning and their awareness of responsibility, it is advisable to encourage them to be involved in some volunteering opportunities where they can meaningfully learn and interact with other people with sufficient care and support in place for such jobs.
The issue of
whether or not
children
should
be engaged
in
some
paid work has sparked a heated debate. While
some
argue that having
some
employment experience is conducive to a
child’s
learning
and development, I contend that it would bring harm to the
child’s
heath and learning.

First of all
, a workplace designed for adults is
normally
shortage of child-friendly facilities. Desks and chairs are too high for a
child
; the light switches
are installed
on the walls unreachable by
children
;
also
emergency training and facilities such as phones are
only
provided to adults.
Furthermore
, various hazards such as polluted air and chemical fumes are
still
produced in factories and farms.
Undoubtedly
young
people
would suffer in such workplaces.

Also
,
children
would find it frustrating when they are not
properly
inducted
before
starting a job. A
child
working in a cement factory would feel a setback when he could not
get
immediate support while struggling with the procedures of recording
different
raw materials that
is required
by the job.
Further
, without sufficient support, a
child’s
misunderstanding or
inappropriately
communicating with adults would
only
disappoint him and
prevents
him from active
learning
and interacting with other
people
.

To conclude
, a
child’s
paid employment experience would lead to a
negative
impact on their health and active
learning
.
However
, recognizing the importance of
children’s
learning
and their awareness of responsibility, it is advisable to encourage them to
be involved
in
some
volunteering opportunities where they can
meaningfully
learn and interact with other
people
with sufficient care and support in place for such jobs.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In many countries children are engaged in different kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts