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Without capital punishment our lives are less secure and crimes or violence increase. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Without capital punishment our lives are less secure and crimes or violence increase. with this opinion? aoxY
Serious crimes need capital punishment so that the offender are unable to get involved in the crime in the future. However, If they want to stop the acts of violation in the future then it would be better to forget him and judge him for a change. Overall, I agree with the fact that punishment is the way to avoid the crime to be increased and hence our lives become more secure. If the wrongdoer wants to be a good man and there is a particular financial or personal problem that led him to the wrong way, then it would be the nice option to forgive him and try to solve the problem he have. Although by this way, some bad man may become effective part of the society but some do not bring themselves to the right path because they are very much used to of it. The person that _ involved in the crime and never try to stop the law-breaking act should be punished in the extremely serious way. However, it totally depends on the nature of crime. Some crime led to a capital punishment and some may require a small penalty. The law-making institutions are responsible to bring the bad man to the right level of punishment that he deserves. If there is weak legislation to properly handle the offender, it may become our society less secure for the good man. The government should be the responsible authority to provide a secure and better state to live. Laws should be implemented and executed in the most proper way that do not allow the offender to commit violent acts or to break the law in any way and to any extent. To sum up, it is the responsibility of the state runner to stop people to involved in crime. It may be done through solving the problems of the people that led them to commit that violence act or by the punishment accordingly.
Serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
need capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the offender are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in the future.
However
, If they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acts
of violation in the future then it would be better to forget him and judge him for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

Overall
, I
Consider using "agree that".
agree with the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is the way to avoid the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
to
be increased
and
hence
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
become more secure. If the wrongdoer wants to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
and there is a particular financial or personal problem that led him to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way, then it would be the nice option to forgive him and try to solve the problem he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
. Although by this way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
may become effective part of the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
do not bring themselves to the right path
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to of it. The person that _ involved in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and never try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the law-breaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
should
be punished
in the
extremely
serious way.
However
, it
totally
depends on the nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
led to a capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may require a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
penalty. The law-making institutions are responsible to bring the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
to the right level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
that he deserves. If there is weak legislation to
properly
handle the offender, it may become our society less secure for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be the responsible authority to provide a secure and better state to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. Laws should
be implemented
and executed in the most proper way that do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the offender to commit violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acts
or to break the law in any way and to any extent. To sum up, it is the responsibility of the state runner to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. It may
be done
through solving the problems of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that led them to commit that violence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
or by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
accordingly
.
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IELTS essay Without capital punishment our lives are less secure and crimes or violence increase. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
326 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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