Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents house once they finish school they start living on their own or sharing house with their friends .it is positive or negative development

Since past few decades, the youngsters take a decision to live separately from their parents because they find it is better to live alone or with their friends in shared house. I wholeheartedly believe that it is negative development. This essay will elucidate and scrutinize why this trend leads to negative impact. Although the trend of youngsters to live separately from their parents make them independent, it leads to some problem that are faced by youngsters. Firstly, young adults need proper guidance of their parents, as at the age of adolescents the chances of commiting mistakes are increasing. To explain, if youngsters not gave preferrance to live with their parents they might not able to learn from the experiences of their parents, which may affect the future of youngsters. For example, according to an empirical research done by Harvard University on 1000 young people who preferred to live in a separate house from their parents showed that majority of people among those were not successful because of lack of experience. It is therefore conclusively clear that owing to need of paternal guidance it is not sublime for youngsters to live separately from their parents. Secondly, the another reason due to which this development has worse impact is that youngsters are not strong emotionally because at this age they are not mature to handle the problem in their life. To elaborate, young adults may not able to deal properly with stress, and difficult situation of life, and they need someone who can help to get out of these situations. To exemplify, due to some hormonal changes in girls at the adolescents age they need their parents in order to strong emotionally. Thus it can be stated beyond any doubt that due to need of emotional support from parents, it is not wise step for youngsters to live in separate house from their parents. By analysing aforementioned paragraphs, it could be concluded that leaving the parents house after finishing school is not a sublime for youngsters as they need proper guidance and emotional support from their parents.
Since past few decades, the youngsters take a decision to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
separately
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they find it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone or with their friends in shared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. I
wholeheartedly
believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development. This essay will elucidate and scrutinize why this trend leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact. Although the trend of youngsters to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
separately
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them independent, it leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problem that
are faced
by youngsters.
Firstly
, young adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
proper guidance of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, as at the age of adolescents the chances of
Possible spelling mistake found.
commiting
mistakes are increasing. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, if youngsters not gave
Possible spelling mistake found.
preferrance
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
they might not able to learn from the experiences of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, which may affect the future of youngsters.
For example
, according to an empirical research done by Harvard University on 1000 young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who preferred to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
among those were not successful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of experience. It is
therefore
conclusively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that owing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of paternal guidance it is not sublime for youngsters to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
separately
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Secondly
, the another reason due to which this development has worse impact is that youngsters are not strong
emotionally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at this age they are not mature to handle the problem in their life. To elaborate, young adults may not able to deal
properly
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, and difficult situation of life, and they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
someone who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of these situations. To exemplify, due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hormonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in girls at the adolescents age they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in order to strong
emotionally
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it can
be stated
beyond any doubt that due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of emotional support from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, it is not wise step for youngsters to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. By
Possible spelling mistake. ‘analysing’ is British English.
analysing
aforementioned paragraphs, it could
be concluded
that leaving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
after finishing school is not a sublime for youngsters as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
proper guidance and emotional support from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents house once they finish school they start living on their own or sharing house with their friends. it is positive or negative development

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
345 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents house once they finish school they start living on their own or sharing house with their friends .it is positive or negative development