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In many cities, many peopole are living in large apartment blocks. Does this accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages?

In many cities, many peopole are living in large apartment blocks. Does this accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages? bnxl
Thanks to the modern amenities provided by large residential apartments many people prefer them to detached houses. In my opinion, the benefits of living in apartment blocks outweigh its drawbacks. According to a recent survey apartments improve the living standard of its residents. This is because most of the flats are situated at the heart of the cities where people can have easy access to all the modern amenities. Obviously, these advanced facilities help people to broaden their social reach. Furthermore, apartments are close to schools, offices and hospitals and hence staying in them makes life more convenient for residents. They do not have to travel long distances to get to work or school. This saves both time and money for them. Another important advantage of living in an apartment complex is that it provides a sense of security to the residents. Apartments are safer than stand alone homes in many aspects. First of all, entering this gated community is quite difficult for an outsider due to the presence of multiple gates. Apart from this, advanced security surveillance cameras are installed and security officers employed to monitor and check the activities of visitors. That prevents burglars and other offenders from entering apartments and makes residents safe. Perhaps the biggest downside of living in an apartment is the space constraints. Apartments are smaller but compared to the many advantages they offer, this is a negligible disadvantage. In conclusion, although there are some disadvantages to living in multi-storey buildings, I think they provide more security and convenience. These are also reasons that encourage more and more people to choose them.
Thanks to the modern amenities provided by large residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer them to detached
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. In my opinion, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
blocks outweigh its drawbacks.

According to a recent survey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
standard of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the flats
are situated
at the heart of the cities where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have easy access to all the modern amenities.
Obviously
, these advanced facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to broaden their social reach.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
are close to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "school".
schools
, offices and hospitals and
hence
staying in them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
life more convenient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
. They do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
travel long distances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to work or school. This saves both time and money for them.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
complex is that it provides a sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apartments
are safer than
In this context, this term is usually written with a hyphen or as one word: "stand-alone" or "standalone".
stand alone
homes in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, entering this gated community is quite difficult for an outsider due to the presence of multiple gates. Apart from this, advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
surveillance cameras
are installed
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
officers employed to monitor and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the activities of visitors. That
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
burglars and other offenders from entering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
safe. Perhaps the biggest downside of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
is the space constraints.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apartments
are smaller
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
compared to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages they offer, this is a negligible disadvantage.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
multi-storey
buildings, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they provide more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
and convenience. These are
also
reasons that encourage more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to choose them.
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IELTS essay In many cities, many peopole are living in large apartment blocks. Does this accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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