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In cultures, children are often told to work hard to achieve anything what are the advantages and disadvantages of this Trend?

In cultures, children are often told to work hard to achieve anything what are the advantages and disadvantages of this Trend? kgG72
In recent times, children often told differently, according to their traditions and culture that they can achieve anything they want in life through hard work. Despite having obvious advantages this trend also has some disadvantages. To begin with, parents often advise their children to work hard to make them aware of the importance of success and failure in their life. In addition, this advice can make their kids more motivated and focused on their goals. For example, students who always spend their time on a particular objective will always deliver outstanding performance in competitions and examinations. Inculcating a sense of hard work will help the kids to face challenges and difficulties with a brave attitude even they fail once in their attempt. However, this message can sometimes be ineffective and dysfunctional. Firstly, due to believing everything is possible, they may set unrealistic and illogical goals with the delusion that it is achievable. For instance, a small kid could not travel to the moon or lift an aeroplane. Secondly, concentrating most of the time on a particular activity can cause mental stress depression and the development of negative emotions. In conclusion, parents should convey both benefits and drawbacks of spending too much time for achieving a particular goal which can create a positive impact on children.
In recent
times
, children
often
told
differently
, according to their traditions and culture that they can achieve anything they want in life through
hard
work. Despite having obvious advantages this trend
also
has
some
disadvantages.

To
begin
with, parents
often
advise their children to work
hard
to
make
them aware of the importance of success and failure in their life.
In addition
, this advice can
make
their kids more motivated and focused on their goals.
For example
, students who always spend their
time
on a particular objective will always deliver outstanding performance in competitions and examinations. Inculcating a sense of
hard
work will
help
the kids to face challenges and difficulties with a brave attitude even they fail once in their attempt.

However
, this message can
sometimes
be ineffective and dysfunctional.
Firstly
, due to believing everything is possible, they may set unrealistic and illogical goals with the delusion that it is achievable.
For instance
, a
small
kid could not travel to the moon or lift an
aeroplane
.
Secondly
, concentrating most of the
time
on a particular activity can cause mental
stress
depression and the development of
negative
emotions.

In conclusion
, parents should convey both benefits and drawbacks of spending too much
time
for achieving a particular goal which can create a
positive
impact on children.
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IELTS essay In cultures, children are often told to work hard to achieve anything what are the advantages and disadvantages of this Trend?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
215 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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