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In countries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job.

In countries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job. YO25
Many countries where there is significant rate of unemployment, most of the people should be suggested only primary education. I totally disagree with this point of view because secondary education plays an essential role in society. It is proposed that studying in primary school and not going to secondary ones may beleive that it is optimal way to alleviate the financial burden for the government as they do not spend an amount of public money on the school and teacher training and other useful things. But people who are studying primary school may not have more knowledge and experiences for the future work. If the people are taught only common school, we can not find best specialized workers from our society. As a result society does not develop enough. Meanwhile, elementary children are unlikely to meet the demand for technological globe. Additionally, I contend that the purpose of education is much more fundamental than simplu to prepare young people for the world of work. I would metion above. High school education is a important part in our life. People who are studying in the secondary school have more experiences, they can help their countlr to develop perfectly. Highly educated students are required in many sectors of the economy. In addition, lack junior high school education has negative effect, the evident scenario is that there might be a rise in crime rate and has not sufficient qualities employers, they are unable to join the workforce and become unemployed. In conclusion, gymnasium is vital for us. I suggest all of the people to study junior school in order to be professional and gain more knowledge for their future life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries where there is significant rate of unemployment, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be suggested
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. I
totally
disagree with this point of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays an essential role in society.

It
is proposed
that studying in primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and not going to secondary ones may
Possible spelling mistake found.
beleive
that it

is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a optimal".
optimal
way to alleviate the financial burden for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as they do not spend an amount of public money on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and teacher training and other useful things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are studying primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
may not have more knowledge and experiences for the future work. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are taught
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, we can not find best specialized workers from our society.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result society does not develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. Meanwhile, elementary children are unlikely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demand for technological globe.

Additionally
, I contend that the purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is much more fundamental than
Possible spelling mistake found.
simplu
to

prepare young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for the world of work. I would
Possible spelling mistake found.
metion
above. High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in our life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who are studying in the secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have more experiences, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
countlr
to develop
perfectly
.
Highly
educated students
are required
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sectors of the economy.
In addition
, lack junior high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect, the evident scenario is that there might be a rise in crime rate and has not sufficient qualities employers, they are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the workforce and become unemployed.

In conclusion
, gymnasium is vital for us. I suggest
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to study junior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in order to be professional and gain more knowledge for their future life.

IELTS essay In countries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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