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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience ylnl
In Britain, people who are around 70 years old or above may be sent to live in a home with other elderly where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes, the government has to pay for this care. In my opinion, the government should spend money on caring for the elderly due to the following reasons. Firstly, it is expensive for the elderly to live in the elderly home where there are nurses to take care of them. Although they may have a pension for their retirement life, it is still not enough for them to afford to live there. Furthermore, the elderly home which was established by the government should be built for keeping the elderly persons who need the nurses to take care. Thus, the government should be responsible for affording this care. Lastly, the government should concern with the elderly who cannot move their bodies and walk that they need the nurse to take care of them all the time in the same place, and the main reason is that it is convenient for them to enjoy their retirement life in there. Thus, the government should bring a pure heart to donate money to them for their cares. In fact, everyone will be growing older and become elderly and then they will be sent to the home as they need someone to take care. In conclusion, the government should spend money on elderly cares according to the above reasons.
In Britain,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are around 70 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
or above may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a home with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
where there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nurses
to look after them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
pay for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend money on caring for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
due to the following reasons.

Firstly
, it is expensive for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
home where there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nurses
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them. Although they may have a pension for their retirement life, it is
still
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for them to afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
home which
was established
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
be built
for keeping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
persons who need the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nurses
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be responsible for affording this care.

Lastly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should concern with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
who cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
their bodies and walk that they need the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nurse
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them all the time in the same place, and the main reason is that it is convenient for them to enjoy their retirement life in there.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should bring a pure heart to donate money to them for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cares
. In fact, everyone will be growing older and become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
elderly and
then they will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to the home as they need someone to take care.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cares
according to the above reasons.
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IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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