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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? dxk2
In recent decades length of life is constantly increasing in many countries so governments and families face new challenges. How to organise comfortable conditions for old people, especially for disabled ones. Many nursing houses have appeared lately with different specializations mostly in suburban areas around big cities. Therefore a financial question always arises: who must pay for that government or family? I personally think that we need to create several different ways suitable for the range of the situations: from simple governmental houses to luxurious residential areas for wealthy families. On the one hand, the government must create and donate many elementary nursing houses for the most part of elderly people. Such organizations can invite and take care of many disabled people who have low income. For example, there are many lonely people who have no family, so the government is responsible for their lives. I know that in Russia we have around 5% of the population at the age of 75 years and older who are lonely and have a shortage of commodities. Moreover the number of them are constantly rising. On the other hand, there are many wealthy families who can pay for really high level accommodation for their parents and old relatives. So the government needs to motivate hotels and resorts to organise special high class places for older people. For example, some celebrities move their parents abroad to find appropriate levels of hospitality at the resorts. To summarise, I think that the government must analyse the population range and prepare a special program which reflects the needs of the nation. From my point of view, all people deserve appropriate care at a late age.
In recent
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "decades'" or "decade's"?
decades
length of life is
constantly
increasing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
face new challenges. How to
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
comfortable conditions for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
for disabled ones.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
nursing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
have appeared lately with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
specializations
mostly
in suburban areas around
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
a financial question always arises:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
? I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we need to create several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways suitable for the range of the situations: from simple governmental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
to luxurious residential areas for wealthy families.

On the one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
create and donate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
elementary nursing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
for the most part
of elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Such organizations can invite and take care of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have low income.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
lonely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is responsible for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I know that in Russia we have around 5% of the population at the age of 75 years and older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are lonely and have a shortage of commodities.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the number of them are
constantly
rising.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can pay for
really
high level accommodation for their parents and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
relatives.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
needs to motivate hotels and resorts to
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
special high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
places for older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
celebrities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
their parents abroad to find appropriate levels of hospitality at the resorts.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the population range and prepare a special program which reflects the needs of the nation. From my point of view, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
deserve appropriate care at a late age.
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IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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