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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? AV8X
The government is responsible for taking care of each and every citizen of the country. In the world, every developed country has made the well developed system in each sector in such a way that, it is well justified in its society's point of view as well as the perception of its financial growth. The financial support given to the senior citizen in Britain is considered as a positive and a responsible approach of its government as per my opinion. Though, the decision of giving such support should be on the bases of many relevant factors. The concern shown here in this topic lead to the discussion regarding the priority given to the health care sector. in Britain, which is one of the well developed country in the world, the health and support given to the old people in such a way that they can facilitated by all the basis need like finance, food and medication. The senior citizen who have spend their whole life working in any private of government organization, who have paid tax to the government in a hope that in their retirement phase of life, government will pay them back in the form of pension, health support or other ways as per the government structure. Moreover, providing shelter in the form of old age home to particular person means a lot to that person in many ways. Firstly, in a emotional point of view, it make the person positive, and emotionally strong. Secondly, if they are living around people of the same ages, they find friends to make who understand them and who make them comfortable by sharing their good or bad stories to the person who is at the same level of maturity and perhaps, facing the same situation. the Emotional support is most important to make a person alive in any situation as per my opinion. hence the action taken by the British government to fulfill their duties towards their senior citizen is a helpful. On the other hand, the financial support given to this approach by the government is the matter of debate sometimes as it involves the considerable proportion of budget. There must be a criteria made by such government organization to be satisfied before giving financial support to any person. factors such as his financial background, family detail, family's concern towards them, professional career background, social situation. the situation in which the person's family is settled enough to take care of their elders, it is not necessary to move them to old age home. it may create negative impact as well if they are not happy with this decision and do not feel comfortable. it is beneficial as a financial point of view of the government also as it includes well developed infrastructure, and large number of staff to provide such facility. In the conclusion, after considering both perspective towards the situation presented here, I would appreciate the approach of Britain government who understand their responsibility towards the society. however, the decision should be vary person to person and based on the decided criteria. But the government should confirm by doing regular survey that each person is getting what is necessary for them and makes them happy.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is responsible for taking care of each and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
of the country. In the world, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
country has made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
system in each sector in such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
that, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
justified in its society's point of view as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as the perception of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
growth. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
in Britain
is considered
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and a responsible approach of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
as per my opinion.
“Though” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Though
, the decision of giving such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
should be on the bases of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
relevant factors.

The concern shown here in this topic lead to the discussion regarding the priority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the health care sector.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
Britain, which is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
country in the world, the health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
that they can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "facilitate"
facilitated
by all the basis need like finance, food and medication. The senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
Use past participle here: "spent".
spend
their whole life working in any private of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
organization,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have paid tax to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in a hope that in their retirement phase of life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will pay them back in the form of pension, health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
or other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
as per the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
structure.
Moreover
, providing shelter in the form of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age home to particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
means a lot to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
.
Firstly
, in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
emotional point of view, it
Did you mean "makes"?
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
, and
emotionally
strong.
Secondly
, if they are living around
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the same ages, they find friends to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
understand them and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them comfortable by sharing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
stories to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is at the same level of maturity and perhaps, facing the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
Emotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
is most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
alive in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
as per my opinion.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
hence
the action taken by the British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to fulfill their duties towards their senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
is
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a helpful
.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to this approach by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is the matter of debate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
as it involves the considerable proportion of budget. There
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a criterion" or simply "criteria"?
a criteria
made by such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
organization to
be satisfied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
to any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
factors
such as his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
background, family detail, family's concern towards them, professional career background, social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
in which the person's family
is settled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to take care of their elders, it is not necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
them to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age home.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
may create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
if they are not happy with this decision and do not feel comfortable.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is beneficial as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
point of view of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
also
as it includes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
infrastructure, and large number of staff to provide such facility.

In the conclusion, after considering both perspective towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
presented here, I would appreciate the approach of Britain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
understand their responsibility towards the society.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, the decision should be
Consider using the past participle "varied"?
vary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and based on the decided criteria.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should confirm by doing regular survey that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is getting what is necessary for them and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them happy.
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IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
536 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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