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in 21 century no need to build zoo and what are the problem animals face in zoos and what are the solution to solve this problem.

in 21 century no need to build zoo and what are the problem animals face in zoos and what are the solution to solve this problem. Lr691
zoos are the place where all prisoner's are innocent. Nowadays, many individuals think that there is need to build zoos. In this essay I intend to shed light on problems of animals in zoos and which ways should be taken to curb this problem in the upcoming paragraphs. zoos are the place where all animals are contained in cages and In which they can not move freely as well as it effects the growth and development of animals. Apart from this, in zoos creatures are mostly lives on vacations and they are deprived of natural food and these medicines put adverse effects on their health. For instance, one research conducted by Oxford university showed that an elephant is supposed to live an average of 56 years while those are kept in zoos live approximately 17 years. This, it put adverse impact on animal living span. Biosphere reserver is the best way to tackle this problem because biosphere is a place where animals can live freely on natural habitat. For example, the government of the west Bengal build bio reserve for animals. It is a good initiative towards protection of animal. Moreover, restrictions on people visit is also essential to protect the animals from harm and also caregiver should be available to provide essential care to the animal's. All in all, human is not have right to rule over the speechless creatures and animals also have right to live freely.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
zoos
are the place where all
The possessive apostrophe seems to be incorrect. Please remove the apostrophe if you want to use the plural form of 'prisoner'.
prisoner's
are innocent. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there
is need
to build zoos. In this essay I intend to shed light on problems of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos and which ways should
be taken
to curb this problem in the upcoming paragraphs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
zoos
are the place where all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are contained
in cages and In which they can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
freely
as well
as it effects the growth and development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Apart from this, in zoos creatures are
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
vacations and
they
are deprived
of natural food and these medicines put adverse effects on their health.
For instance
, one research conducted by Oxford university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that an elephant
is supposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
an average of 56 years while those are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in zoos
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
approximately 17 years. This, it put adverse impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
living span. Biosphere
Possible spelling mistake found.
reserver
is the best way to tackle this problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
biosphere is a place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
freely
on natural habitat.
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
west Bengal
build bio reserve for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
initiative towards protection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
.
Moreover
, restrictions on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visit is
also
essential to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from harm and
also
caregiver should be available to provide essential care to the animal's. All in all, human is not
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
over the speechless creatures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
also
have right to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
freely
.
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IELTS essay in 21 century no need to build zoo and what are the problem animals face in zoos and what are the solution to solve this problem.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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