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Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer Nations. However the government of richer Nations should take more responsibility for helping the poor nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer Nations. However the government of richer Nations should take more responsibility for helping the poor nations in such areas. with this opinion? NB9b
It is argued that developed countries should support poor Nations in improving health, education and trade. Evidently, backward countries or nations need some irrelevant help. No days we have plenty of problems with underdevelopment of third world Nations, such as African, some South American and Asian countries. African nations are vulnerable, in most cases very bad live conditions and poor life affects as constant threat. Children and old generation suffers more from reasons that I referred above. Many kinds of infectious diseases, highfigures of death, caused by hunger and also polluted water throughout these African nations. Lagging economy, for instance should be improved in vast areas. Meanwhile, peoples in Columbia man go to school only on foot through the rainforests. Obviously, these circumstances are unpleasant and inconvenient. Education requires developing, as well as financing. Hence, richer countries should pay more attention on supporting poor Nations to solve their problems in such areas. Solution for improving backward Nations could be complex, so every country, every organization will support these Nations by strengthening trade relationships, supplying required and necessary resources, in order. I'm sorry convinced that poor Nation will not grow up without taking responsibility and fighting against the worst problem seen education, health and economy. Everyone knows, developed industrial countries went improvingcollectively, by workinghard, by using all advantages that they had. The same efforts will have poor Nations. Finally, I think it is important to remember that nations are more powerful together. Moreover, helping in international trading could be useful for each country.
It
is argued
that developed
countries
should support
poor
Nations
in improving health, education and trade.
Evidently
, backward
countries
or
nations
need
some
irrelevant
help
. No days we have
plenty
of problems with underdevelopment of third world
Nations
, such as African,
some
South American and Asian
countries
. African
nations
are vulnerable,
in most cases
very
bad
live
conditions and
poor
life affects as constant threat. Children and
old
generation suffers more from reasons that I referred above.
Many
kinds of infectious diseases,
highfigures
of death, caused by hunger and
also
polluted water throughout these African
nations
. Lagging economy,
for instance
should be
improved
in vast areas. Meanwhile, peoples in Columbia
man
go to school
only
on foot through the rainforests.
Obviously
, these circumstances are unpleasant and inconvenient. Education requires developing,
as well
as financing.
Hence
, richer
countries
should pay more attention on supporting
poor
Nations
to solve their problems in such areas. Solution for improving backward
Nations
could be complex,
so
every
country
, every organization will support these
Nations
by strengthening trade relationships, supplying required and necessary resources, in order. I'm sorry convinced that
poor
Nation
will not grow up without taking responsibility and fighting against the worst problem
seen
education, health and economy. Everyone knows, developed industrial
countries
went
improvingcollectively
, by
workinghard
, by using all advantages that they had. The same efforts will have
poor
Nations
.
Finally
, I
think
it is
important
to remember that
nations
are more powerful together.
Moreover
, helping in international trading could be useful for each
country
.
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IELTS essay Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer Nations. However the government of richer Nations should take more responsibility for helping the poor nations in such areas. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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