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Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. 9nk7
Petrol is one of the highly demanded resources available in the world due to the fact that petrol is become people basic necessity to facilitate people's mobility. Petrol comes from fossils, which means it is a limited source. Petrol prices in every country are different. Middle East countries set the petrol price much cheaper than countries in America. It is because the supply of petrol in America is significantly below than Middle East. With a number of demand come from consumer, Inadvertently it also increase advantages and disadvantages that will affect people in general. Air pollution will likely to be decreasing because people will choose public transportation over private transportation due to the fact the petrol price is higher. People will save their money for other things that are far more necessary, rather than to buy petrol for their car every week. Furthermore, the number of transportation on the roads will decrease. So, there is no more traffic jam on roads especially in the afternoon. Unfortunately, it also will bring adverses to people especially for middle to lower class society. They will not be able to afford petrol for their vehicle and the existence of their vehicle is crucial for them to fulfill their needs. Therefore, people who feel oppressed will regain their rights by demonstrating. In numerous occasions they disturb other people in the vicinity of the demonstration. In conclusion, increasing the price of petrol is an outstanding move to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. Therefore, the government needs approval from every circles of society. So no one will feel disadvantage by that policy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Petrol
is one of the
highly
demanded resources available in the world due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
is become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
basic necessity to facilitate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's mobility.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Petrol
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from fossils, which means it is a limited source.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
in every country are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. Middle East countries set the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
much cheaper than countries in America. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the supply of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
in America is
significantly
Use "(below)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
below
A determiner is probably missing here: "than the Middle East".
than Middle East
. With a number of demand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from consumer,
Inadvertently
it
also
Did you mean "increases"?
increase
advantages and disadvantages that will affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in general
.

Air pollution will likely to be decreasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will choose public transportation over private transportation due to the fact the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
is higher.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will save their money for other things that are far more necessary,
rather
than to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
for their car every week.
Furthermore
, the number of transportation on the roads will decrease.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there is no more traffic jam on roads
especially
in the afternoon.

Unfortunately, it
also
will bring
Possible spelling mistake found.
adverses
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
for middle to lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
society. They will not be able to afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
for their vehicle and the existence of their vehicle is crucial for them to fulfill their needs.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who feel oppressed will regain their rights by demonstrating. In numerous occasions they disturb other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the vicinity of the demonstration.

In conclusion
, increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
is an outstanding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs approval from every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "circle"?
circles
of society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
no one will feel disadvantage by that policy.
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IELTS essay Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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