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IF WE WANT TO SAVE THE FUTURE OF THE PLANET, WE WILL HAVE TO DRASTICALLY CHANGE OUR WAY OF LIFE. WHAT IS YOUR OPINION?

IF WE WANT TO SAVE THE FUTURE OF THE PLANET, WE WILL HAVE TO DRASTICALLY CHANGE OUR WAY OF LIFE. WHAT IS YOUR OPINION? 8deQm
In today's modern society, the lifestyle of humans is one of the most essential issues. Their bad way of life has a negative influence on the real-life around them. Many people think action must be taken urgently in the hope of saving the planet's future. I completely agree with this idea and in this essay, I will support my opinion with examples. First of all, there is no doubt that people have a profound effect on the environment. They are continuing to exploit natural resources such as fossil fuels in a waste way. Consequently, this action will release the amount of CO2 into the atmosphere which is the main reason that causes global warming and the greenhouse effect. People do not realize clearly about the consequence so that they keep exploiting and only caring about immediate benefits. We can save the environment by using renewable resource such as wind, water power and so on. Another reason why I agree with people having to change their lifestyle is that people are destroying the ecosystem by their habits. Because of human’s overexploitation, there are a number of primary forests which having been disappeared until now. Moreover, people also use products that are harmful to the environment such as plastic bags. For example, plastic products were released into the ocean regularly by visitors. As a result, there is not enough oxygen for humans due to the fact that forests providing oxygen were destroyed; besides, the poisonous matter will seep into water and soil and kill the creatures causing an imbalance in the ecosystem. People have to change their lifestyle from their single-action such as encouraging people around to use a paper bag and stop exploiting wood too much. In short, there is nothing wrong with what people are doing that will influent their future and I strongly believe that they have to change to save the human race. Personally, I think people can help the ecosystem become cleaner later.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern society, the lifestyle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
is one of the most essential issues. Their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way of life has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on the real-life around them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
action
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
urgently
in the hope of saving the planet's future. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and in this essay, I will support my opinion with examples.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a profound effect on the environment. They are continuing to exploit natural resources such as fossil fuels
Consider replacing "in a waste way" with the adverb for "waste"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a waste way
.
Consequently
, this action will release the amount of CO2 into the atmosphere which is the main reason that causes global warming and the greenhouse effect.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
do not realize
clearly
about the consequence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
exploiting and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
caring about immediate benefits. We can save the environment by using renewable resource such as wind, water power and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

Another reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their lifestyle is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are destroying the ecosystem by their habits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’s
overexploitation, there are a number of primary forests which having
been disappeared
until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
products that are harmful to the environment such as plastic bags.
For example
, plastic products
were released
into the ocean
regularly
by visitors.
As a result
, there is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
oxygen for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
due to the fact that forests providing oxygen were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
;
besides
, the poisonous matter will seep into water and soil and kill the creatures causing an imbalance in the ecosystem.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their lifestyle from their single-action such as encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a paper bag and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
exploiting wood too much.

In short, there is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
with what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are doing that will
Possible spelling mistake found.
influent
their future and I
strongly
believe that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
race.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the ecosystem become cleaner later.
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IELTS essay IF WE WANT TO SAVE THE FUTURE OF THE PLANET, WE WILL HAVE TO DRASTICALLY CHANGE OUR WAY OF LIFE. WHAT IS YOUR OPINION?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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