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İelts writing task 2 children

İelts writing task 2 children n6NK7

These days rather than working together for everyone's profit, many students are taught to motivate themselves to be better than their peers. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this issue. On the one hand, in comparison to students, this rivalry has certain benefits. One of the most significant merits of studying in a competitive classroom is that it prepares students for hectic lifestyles at a young age. When you are competing with others, you still want to outperform your classmates, which boosts a student's self-esteem. For example, according to a study conducted by Northwestern University in the United States of America, 90 percent of successful people succeed in business because of their self-assurance. On the other hand, if this level of rivalry is surpassed, it may result in a slew of demerits. Despite the preceding positive points, it has a negative hand. Students today spend much of their time with books rather than having fun with friends due to high pressure from parents and teachers. Furthermore, they are forced to study in groups in order to exceed one another. For instance, putting students in groups to research and share their knowledge would encourage everyone to improve their grades and learn more. Few, on the other hand, are permitted to do so because others may acquire their tricks and outpace them. As a measure, those students will lose their friends as well as their opportunity to collaborate. In conclusion, pressure on children by teachers and parents makes them more anxious and depressed than their development. Children must be treated fairly, knowing that competition has both pros and cons

These days rather
 than working together for everyone's profit, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withundergraduatescholarpupiljuniorgraduate
students
are taught
 to motivate themselves to be better than their peers. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this issue.

On the one You use this word too often, consider replacing it withgripfistpalm
hand
, in comparison
 to You use this word too often, consider replacing it withundergraduatescholarpupiljuniorgraduate
students
, this rivalry has certain benefits. One of the most significant merits of studying in a competitive classroom is that it prepares You use this word too often, consider replacing it withundergraduatescholarpupiljuniorgraduate
students
 for hectic lifestyles at a young age. When you are competing with others, you still
 want to outperform your classmates, which boosts a student's self-esteem. For example
, according to a study conducted by Northwestern University in the United States of America, 90 percent of successful This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 succeed in business This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 of their self-assurance.

On the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withnewalternativemore
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withgripfistpalm
hand
, if this level of rivalry is surpassed
, it may result in a slew of demerits. Despite the preceding This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:beneficial
positive
 points, it has a This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:adverse
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withgripfistpalm
hand
. You use this word too often, consider replacing it withundergraduatescholarpupiljuniorgraduate
Students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :this day and agenowadays
today
 spend much of their time with books rather
 than having fun with friends due to high pressure from parents and teachers. Furthermore
, they are forced
 to study in groups in order to exceed one another. For instance
, putting You use this word too often, consider replacing it withundergraduatescholarpupiljuniorgraduate
students
 in groups to research and share their knowledge would encourage everyone to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :ameliorate
improve
 their grades and learn more. Few, on the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withnewalternativemore
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withgripfistpalm
hand
, are permitted
 to do This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 others may acquire their tricks and outpace them. As a measure, those You use this word too often, consider replacing it withundergraduatescholarpupiljuniorgraduate
students
 will lose their friends as well
 as their opportunity to collaborate.

In conclusion
, pressure on children by teachers and parents This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createsconstructsmanufacturesproduces
makes
 them more anxious and depressed than their development. Children This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :require
must
be treated
fairly
, knowing that competition has both pros and Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraphcons.cons!cons?cons:cons,cons;
cons