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I believe that this trend also has detrimental effects on the environment and the local people.

I believe that this trend also has detrimental effects on the environment and the local people. 521WN
It is true that the number of tourism in the remote areas has been expanded. Even though this trend can create beneficial impacts on the life of local residents and the environment. I believe that this trend also has detrimental effects on the environment and the local people. On the one hand, the local people and the habitat can benefit from the tendency of tourists to remote areas and community. Firstly, it creates more employment opportunities and enhances living standards of the local residents. For example, they can earn money by providing services such as food, transportation, accommodation and selling souvenirs to tourists. Moreover, they can increase their income by becoming a guide leading tourists to visit and learn about local cultural history. Secondly, in order to get an increase in tourist arrivals and maintain income, local people will be more environmentally conscious as well as stimulate interests and involvement in conservation. Government and local people can use part of their income to preserve the environment and improve the quality of the environment such as increasing forest cover or upgrading national parks, and organizing activities to raise awareness about environmental protection. On the other hand, this trend would bring detrimental affects the environment and the local people. First of all, tourists use a number of natural resources such as water, energy and this puts pressure on the environment. Moreover, cans and plastic bags are freely disposed of at the tourist sites which directly affect the local people’s living conditions. Besides, The habitats of numerous wild plants and animals have been lost due to the cutting down of trees to serve the construction of commercial centers, hotels or resorts…. . Furthermore, the visitors can have disrespectful behavior to the customs of local people. In addition, visitors from various cultures can provide ethnic people in remote areas with a lot of exotic cultures and lifestyles through their interactions with one another, which can lead these local residents to experience tension and disturbance from tourists. In brief, the rapid growth in the number of people who are interested in visiting remote areas could bring about both advantages and disadvantages to the local people and the environment. Therefore, local authorities and local residents need to have specific and reasonable plans to reduce negative impacts.
It is true that the number of tourism in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
has
been expanded
.
Even though
this trend can create beneficial impacts on the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. I believe that this trend
also
has detrimental effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the habitat can benefit from the tendency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and community.
Firstly
, it creates more employment opportunities and enhances living standards of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
.
For example
, they can earn money by providing services such as food, transportation, accommodation and selling souvenirs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
.
Moreover
, they can increase their income by becoming a guide leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to visit and learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
cultural history.
Secondly
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
arrivals and maintain income,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be more
environmentally
conscious
as well
as stimulate interests and involvement in conservation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
part of their income to preserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
such as increasing forest cover or upgrading national parks, and organizing activities to raise awareness about environmental protection.

On the other hand
, this trend would bring detrimental affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a number of natural resources such as water, energy and this puts pressure on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Moreover
, cans and plastic bags are
freely
disposed of at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
sites which
directly
affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
living conditions.
Besides
, The habitats of numerous wild plants and animals have
been lost
due to the cutting down of trees to serve the construction of commercial centers, hotels or resorts….
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Furthermore
, the visitors can have disrespectful behavior to the customs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
, visitors from various cultures can provide ethnic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
exotic cultures and lifestyles through their interactions with one another, which can lead these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
to experience tension and disturbance from tourists.

In brief
, the rapid growth in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are interested
in visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
could bring about both advantages and disadvantages to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
authorities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
need to have specific and reasonable plans to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts.
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IELTS essay I believe that this trend also has detrimental effects on the environment and the local people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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