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I am a seaman on the Truong Sa Islands

I am a seaman on the Truong Sa Islands GLOPg
I am a seaman on the Truong Sa Islands of Vietnam said Dad Nam nodded as he rolled his toy car along the ground the islands must be guarded both day and night I must take my turn on patrol each day Dad continued Nam nodded as he jumped his toy car over a stone Truong Sa is quite far from the main land said Dad so in addition to patrolling the island we seaman grow vegetables and raise cattle and poultry we also catch fish Nam parked his toy car by a clump of grass and looked at Dad There are terrible storms at sea Nam when a fishing boat is lost in a storm it is the job of the seamen to find it Dad continued we had such a storm three months ago there was a fishing boat in trouble but my comrades and I found the boat and rescued the crew that is why I couldn’t come home on leave for your birthday Nam looked at Dad and nodded Nam I’m sorry that I wasn’t home for your birthday I can’t always come when I want to but I always love you and always miss you when I am away said
I am a seaman on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Truong
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sa
Islands of Vietnam said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Dad
Nam nodded as he rolled his toy car along the ground the islands
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be guarded
both day and night I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take my turn on patrol each day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Dad
continued Nam nodded as he jumped his toy car over a stone
Possible spelling mistake found.
Truong
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sa
is quite far from the main land said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Dad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in addition
to patrolling the island
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'we'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
we seaman
grow vegetables and raise cattle and poultry we
also
catch fish Nam parked his toy car by a clump of grass and looked at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Dad
There are terrible storms at sea Nam when a fishing boat
is lost
in a storm it is the job of the seamen to find it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Dad
continued we had such a storm three months ago there was a fishing boat in trouble
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my comrades and I found the boat and rescued the crew
that is
why I couldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
for your birthday Nam looked at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Dad
and nodded Nam I’m sorry that I wasn’t home for your birthday I can’t always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
when I want to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
you and always miss you when I am away said
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IELTS essay I am a seaman on the Truong Sa Islands

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
204 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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