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I agree that the majority of people work in order to earn money. Before taking any other factors into account, it is normal to first consider the salary that a particular post offers, and it is rare to hear of a person who happily takes a cut in pay when beginning a new job. We all need money to pay for our basic necessities, such as accommodation, bills and food. Many adults also have families who depend on the wages they earn, and at the same time they are conscious of the need to save for the future. If we no longer needed money, I doubt most of us would choose to continue in our jobs.

I This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquiesce
agree
 that the majority of This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 work in order to earn

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.Money
money
. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
Before
 taking any other factors into account, it is normal to first
 consider the salary that a particular Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.post.post!post?post:post,post;
post


offers, and it is rare to hear of a person who happily
 takes a

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.Cut
cut
 in pay when beginning a new job. We all need money to pay for our Consider using “necessities”.necessities
basic necessities
, such as accommodation, bills and food. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
Many
 adults also
 have families who depend on the wages they earn, and at the same time they are conscious Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.of.of!of?of:of,of;
of


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.The
the
 need to save for the future. If we no longer Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.needed.needed!needed?needed:needed,needed;
needed


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.Money
money
, I doubt most of us would choose to continue in our jobs. 