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How to encourage young people to study science

How to encourage young people to study science d92Dr
Recent discussions center around how to encourage young people to study science. The main options are advertising and school programmes. School programmes are considered as a very effective channel to reach young people. There can be no doubt that the schools and teachers play not only a crucial role in a child’s development, but are vital as well to arouse their interest for everything, as they are in direct and everyday contact with them. It has been suggested that parents should also educate and teach more their children in a more scientific way, but this is rather a disputed than an established fact. Although school programmes may be very successful and constructive for the pupils, it is probably true that the effects of advertising might have more positive consequences on the encouragement of children to study science. First, advertisements has a way to much forms: from a simple flyer to social media and it can carry a clever, funny and profound message that can easily reach young people. On the other hand, advertising happens generally in an indirect way that has been proven more powerful. Don’t underestimate the influence of advertising! Taking everything into consideration, I believe that advertising would help more than school programmes in the end to encourage the pupils, as it inspires everybody and brings awareness to science in a proven and practical way.
Recent discussions center around how to encourage young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to study science. The main options are advertising and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.

School
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
are considered
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective channel to reach young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. There can be no doubt that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and teachers play not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a crucial role in a child’s development,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are vital
as well
to arouse their interest for everything, as they are in direct and everyday contact with them. It has
been suggested
that parents should
also
educate and teach more their children in a more scientific way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is
rather
a disputed than
Consider using "a fact".
an established fact
.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful and constructive for the pupils, it is
probably
true that the effects of advertising might have more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
consequences on the encouragement of children to study science.
First
, advertisements has a way
Did you mean "too"?
to
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
forms: from a simple flyer to social media and it can carry a clever,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
and profound message that can
easily
reach young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
On the other hand
, advertising happens
generally
Consider replacing "in an indirect way" with the adverb for "indirect"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an indirect way
that has
been proven
more powerful. Don’t underestimate the influence of advertising!

Taking everything into consideration, I believe that advertising would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to encourage the pupils, as it inspires everybody and brings awareness to science in a proven and practical way.
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IELTS essay How to encourage young people to study science

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
227 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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