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How technology affect on human relationship

How technology affect on human relationship nxgeE
It is definitely clear that our world has changed a lot since the coming of new innovation and technology. We know that we could not live without these modern technologies and on the other hand it also affects our relationship with people around us both in positive and negative ways. As I mentioned before in the upper paragraph that the technology is all around us and it also play an important role on our life and especially with the relationship between people such as In family, between coworkers, and even among the schoolers. With this relationship technology can provide more effective communication and cooperation in a more convenient way. Another kind of technology which helps people exchange information with each other also known as social media such as facebook and instagram. These social media help people gain more new relationship in the online world but it just like the two sides sword which have both pros and cons For the positive point, it basically helps people communicate more conveniently even over long distances, but the technology can cause a negative effect especially among family members. By reducing a real relationship and social interaction between people not only in family but also with other people in real life. With more using of online social which means that it makes people isolate themselves from their family and friends. This case would be extremely dangerous for the one who has depression, because stay alone without an encouraging from other might cause more feeling suicidal. Lasty, there is no doubt that if there is no technology existing, we definitely would not have today but as I mentioned at the beginning that technology is like the two side sword so it is important to moderating the time when using it and use it with highest effective to prevent the problem and gain as much knowledge as possible.
It is definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that our world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a lot since the coming of new innovation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. We know that we could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without these modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
and on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand it
also
affects our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around us both in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ways.

As I mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
in the upper paragraph that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is all around us and it
also
Did you mean "plays"?
play
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role on our life and
especially
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as

In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, between coworkers, and even among the schoolers. With this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can provide more effective communication and cooperation in a more convenient way. Another kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
exchange information with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
also
known as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gain more new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
in the online world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like the two sides sword which have both pros and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
cons


For the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
point, it
basically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate more
conveniently
even over long distances,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can cause a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect
especially
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.

By reducing a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interaction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in real life. With more using of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
which means that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
isolate themselves from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and friends. This case would be
extremely
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dangerous
for the one who has depression,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
stay alone without an encouraging from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
might cause more feeling suicidal.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Lasty
, there is no doubt that if there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
existing, we definitely would not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today


This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as I mentioned at the beginning that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is like the two side sword
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
moderating the time when using it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
effective to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the problem and

gain as much knowledge as possible.
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IELTS essay How technology affect on human relationship

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
312 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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