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How should we ensure that television is a positive

How should we ensure that television is a positive 96dpx
Television, mobile devices, internet affect people in various ways, especially children are influenced by social media. Frequently it happens in adverse position, however there are lots of options how to make television is a resource of useful information, which parents ought to regulate and control. First, parents ought to be cognizant what programs, shows, movies their infants watch, what they play or interested in, due to it impacts on their mindset, development and education. Only under discipline teenagers view helpful information that will expand their boundaries. At least they should to limit time, cause any viewing television without border have harm to organism. Follow to the statistics, most of the parents do not pay attention on it, which leads to degradation, addiction and problems with health. Therefore, temporary supervision is essential. Secondly, it is proven that children repeat precisely after father or mother. They copy their acts without even noticing, hence adults ought to show them by their own behavior what channels watch or do it with them. For instance, adolescents that watch channels about animals, news, studying often have parents that do the similar things. So, I strongly believe that there is no large damage that can new innovations bring, consequently, the influence of the television completely depends on the parents. To sum up, television has a huge number of beneficial aspects, only children should know about them and be interested in them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
, mobile devices, internet affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in various ways,
especially
children
are influenced
by social media.
Frequently
it happens in adverse position,
however
there are lots of options how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is a resource of useful information, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
ought to regulate and control.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
ought to be cognizant what programs,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, movies their infants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
, what they play or interested in, due to it impacts on their mindset, development and education.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
under discipline
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
view helpful information that will expand their boundaries. At least they should to limit time, cause any viewing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
without border have harm to organism. Follow to the statistics, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not pay attention on it, which leads to degradation, addiction and problems with health.
Therefore
, temporary supervision is essential.

Secondly
, it
is proven
that children repeat
precisely
after father or mother. They copy their acts without even noticing,
hence
adults ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
behavior what channels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
or do it with them.
For instance
, adolescents that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
channels about animals, news, studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
that do the similar things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
strongly
believe that there is no large damage that can new innovations bring,
consequently
, the influence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
completely depends on the parents.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has a huge number of beneficial aspects,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
children should know about them and
be interested
in them.
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IELTS essay How should we ensure that television is a positive

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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