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How do advertisement attract attention?

How do advertisement attract attention? wOVOe
It all depends on what group of people the advertisement is aimed for. Young people look if it’s cool, hip, or fashionable; whereas older people tend to be more practical-minded, so those in charge of advertising need to have a clear idea of who they will be targeting with their advertisement, and plan accordingly. If the advertisement is geared to the younger generation, then showing how the product can help kids be more attractive, confident, or successful is good. Catchy music also helps attract attention and helps listeners remember it. If you’re trying to reach the older generation with your advertisement, explaining how the product will give them better health, or help them relax, or be happier may appeal to them.
It all depends on what group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is aimed
for. Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
look if it’s cool, hip, or fashionable; whereas older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to be more practical-minded,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
those in charge of advertising need to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
In a formal text, use "whom", not 'who'.
who
they will be targeting with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
, and plan
accordingly
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is geared
to the younger generation, then showing how the product can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
kids be more attractive, confident, or successful is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. Catchy music
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
attract attention and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
listeners remember it. If you’re trying to reach the older generation with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
, explaining how the product will give them better health, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them relax, or be happier may appeal to them.
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IELTS essay How do advertisement attract attention?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
121 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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