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Honoring a local her. The local hero can be someone well known or an ordinary citizen.

Honoring a local her. The local hero can be someone well known or an ordinary citizen. K3Dp0
Introduction The purpose of this proposal is to suggest a local hero who in my opinion, deserve to be honored. My heroes are the closest people in my life. My choice My choice is my parents. We all know that we cannot thank our parents for everything they are doing for us. They are the people who will never turn their backs to us, their children, and this is why I have chosen to write about them and they deserve all the best, there is not an exactly thing that will thank them for giving us life. Reasons for my choice My main reason for choosing my parents is that they gave us life. They are the only ones who know what they went through, how hard was and is still hard. An educational child means extraordinary parents, because they contribute to the child's education as best they can. For me, there is not only mother or only my father, they are my friends and together they are a power. Honoring my heroes If my choice is accepted, I suggest that the council should think about a national day for celebrating our parents day, and to organize a feast where they should relax a little bit and celebrate with others, as well. I hope that you all, thought about your parents and do not forget that they are our real friends and tell them as often as possible that you love them.
Introduction

The purpose of this proposal is to suggest a local hero who in my opinion, deserve to
be honored
. My heroes are the closest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in my life.

My choice

My choice is my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. We all know that we cannot thank our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for everything they are doing for us. They are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who will never turn their backs to us, their children, and this is why I have chosen to write about
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they deserve all the best, there is not an
You used an adverb ('exactly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('thing') instead of another adjective.
exactly thing
that will thank them for giving us life.

Reasons for my choice

My main reason for choosing my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is that they gave us life. They are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ones who know what they went through, how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
was and is
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. An educational child means extraordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they contribute to the child's education as best they can. For me, there is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
mother or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
my father, they are my friends and together they are a power.

Honoring my heroes

If my choice is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
, I suggest that the council should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about a national day for celebrating our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
day, and to organize a feast where they should relax a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
and celebrate with others,
as well
.

I hope that you all,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
about your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and do not forget that they are our real friends and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
as possible that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
them.
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IELTS essay Honoring a local her. The local hero can be someone well known or an ordinary citizen.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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