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HH is not appropriate to live in apartment in my opinion the decision of the people who are

HH is not appropriate to live in apartment in my opinion the decision of the people who are kek6K
This is currently contentious argument over whether should be face interaction is suitable or carry out the social relationships. In my own perspective, we should focus on the face to face chats Firstly, Nowadays science is much advance and provide us with the bundle of various websites. For example, Facebook, messenger, WhatsApp, Instagram etc. The reason is that people have a lot of interest in these apps. The have a thousands of friends on these sites for their daily conservation. Furthermore, Now they can spend their whole period on social media and neglect the relation with their school mates and other which is quite not appropriate. Owing to the fact that they become depressed and effect their eyes. On the other hand, an unfortunate consequences all of these people do not how to express their feeling. They lost the tone of their communication skills. In conclusion, it is not appropriate to spend their time on computer and mobile. We must build strong relationship with outside community. Secondly, I will recommend to schedule a plan for these apps.
This is
currently
contentious argument over whether should be face interaction is suitable or carry out the social relationships. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, we should focus on the face to face chats

Firstly
, Nowadays science is much advance and provide us with the bundle of various websites.
For example
, Facebook, messenger, WhatsApp, Instagram etc. The reason is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
interest in these apps. The have
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a thousand" or simply "thousands"?
a thousands
of friends on these sites for their daily conservation.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
they can spend their whole period on social media and neglect the relation with their school mates and other which is quite not appropriate. Owing to the fact that they become depressed and effect their eyes.

On the other hand
, an unfortunate
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "consequence"?
consequences
all of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not how to express their feeling. They lost the tone of their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, it is not appropriate to spend their time on computer and mobile. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
build strong relationship with outside community.
Secondly
, I will
The verb 'recommend' is used with the gerund form: "recommend scheduling".
recommend to schedule
a plan for these apps.

IELTS essay HH is not appropriate to live in apartment in my opinion the decision of the people who are

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
177 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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