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hey i was just fine before i met you

hey i was just fine before i met you G3MDL
Proposal Writing +Some recent studies have proven that pupils don’t get enough sleep and this has harmful effects on the health of children. In this essay, I’m going to explain why the school day should start two hours later due to a sleep deprivation problem amongst students. The fact is that students who don’t get enough sleep feel more irritated and grumpy during the lessons than ones who got their batteries recharged. In addition, loss of concentration and memory loss are also negative outcomes of lack of sleep. Besides, if students don’t focus on lessons, as a result, they will not be able to understand the theme and probably fail exams. Without the doubt, it’s not news that many schools tend to start at 8 A. M and end at lunchtime. Apart from this, pupils are given too much homework, as they do not want to lower their marks, students choose to do their home assignments instead of sleeping. Obviously, they will not be at their optimum due to the lack of sleep. It should be noted, that one of the most significant outcomes that we would get if we applied an additional couple of hours to the sleeping time of children at school is the increase of attention and interest in the lesson. Also, students might get more active than they are these days and get higher marks, which is obviously a benefit to the educational ministry of Uzbekistan.
Proposal Writing

+
Some
recent studies have proven that pupils don’t
get
enough
sleep
and this has harmful effects on the health of children. In this essay, I’m going to
explain
why the school day should
start
two hours later due to a
sleep
deprivation problem amongst students.

The fact is that
students
who don’t
get
enough
sleep
feel more irritated and grumpy during the lessons than ones who
got
their batteries recharged.
In addition
, loss of concentration and memory loss are
also
negative
outcomes of lack of
sleep
.
Besides
, if
students
don’t focus on lessons,
as a result
, they will not be able to understand the theme and
probably
fail exams.

Without the doubt, it’s not news that
many
schools tend to
start
at 8 A. M and
end
at lunchtime. Apart from this, pupils are
given
too much homework, as they do not want to lower their marks,
students
choose to do their home assignments
instead
of sleeping.
Obviously
, they will not be at their optimum due to the lack of sleep.

It should
be noted
, that one of the most significant outcomes that we would
get
if we applied an additional couple of hours to the sleeping time of children at school is the increase of attention and interest in the lesson.
Also
,
students
might
get
more active than they are these days and
get
higher marks, which is
obviously
a benefit to the educational ministry of Uzbekistan.
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IELTS essay hey i was just fine before i met you

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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