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help students find suitable jobs

help students find suitable jobs 5kBdV
Recent discussions center around which methods the education system uses to find suitable jobs for students who are future employees. The main options are providing courses and qualifications and giving career advice. So, which one is more effective, what are the pros and cons of each one? Practical courses and qualifications are considered a very effective approach to provide practical skills. I strongly believe that the educational system does not promote enough empirical skills. Without knowing where to implement the knowledge it's very hard for students to decide which job to take and what is more crucial - to know where their knowledge is suitable. There are plenty of possibilities to enroll in online courses or take qualifications remotely which is a great advantage for students. The way I see things is that schools and universities should add taking qualifications into the curriculum in order to help students obtain additional practical skills to their general knowledge. Although providing courses and qualifications may be very successful and constructive for the students, it is also true that the careers' advice may have equal positive consequences on supporting students to find a fitting job. But it will only be useful if it is relevant. The world is changing fast and advice should be about modern skills as how to write a CV, how to "sell" yourself in the interview or how to be a freelancer. Moreover, it should be provided by real professionals - career advisors and psychologists who work with such requests. We shouldn't underestimate the influence of professional help. Taking everything into consideration, I believe that providing students with courses and qualifications would be more effective as it gives practical benefit, as it immerses students into the process of choosing the qualification and arouses responsibility for future employment.
Recent discussions center around which methods the education system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
to find suitable jobs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are future employees. The main options are providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
and giving career advice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, which one is more effective, what are the pros and cons of each one?

Practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
are considered
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective approach to provide practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. I
strongly
believe that the educational system does not promote
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
empirical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Without knowing where to implement the knowledge it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to decide which job to take and
what is more
crucial
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
to know where their knowledge is suitable. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of possibilities to enroll in online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
or take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
remotely
which is a great advantage for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The way I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
things is that schools and universities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
into the curriculum in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
obtain additional practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to their general knowledge.

Although providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful and constructive for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, it is
also
true that the careers' advice may have equal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
consequences on supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to find a fitting job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be useful if it is relevant. The world is changing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and advice should be about modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
as how to write a CV, how to
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
sell
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
yourself in the interview or how to be a freelancer.
Moreover
, it should
be provided
by real professionals
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
career advisors and psychologists who work with such requests. We shouldn't underestimate the influence of professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

Taking everything into consideration, I believe that providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
would be more effective as it gives practical benefit, as it immerses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
into the process of choosing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
and arouses responsibility for future employment.
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IELTS essay help students find suitable jobs

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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