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Health experts believe that walking is good excercise for health . however, people are walking less nowadays .why is this happening ?how can people be encouraged to walk more .

Health experts believe that walking is good excercise for health. however, people are walking less nowadays. why is this happening? how can people be encouraged to walk more. 18OL
It is irrefutable that acknowledge that a healthy mind lives in a healthy body. good health is one's most prized possession. Therefore, health experts consider that walking is one of best activity today. masses are less interested for walking. so, I shall illuminate my view points regarding walking and motivate to people about this activity in my further writing. There are multiple reasons, why individual less focus on walking nowadays. first and foremost is that in the fast paced life masses bare very busy in their personal and professional life, because today, they earn more and more money to fulfill their needs, and bestow better lifestyle to their children. so that's why they have insufficient time to go for walking. secondly, they have lot of burden regarding work. For instance, teacher render the ample of work to students, which they complete at home, and working person also finished their task, which provided by boss at house for get success and promotion. As a result, they only concentrate on one work, and less time for walk. Furthermore, in this day and age, technology makes the easy life, because there myriad of facilities, which are available for humans like private and public vehicle, which are helpful for moving one place to another, and that is main reason for less walk. To illustrate, majority of folks, who prefer car, bike for short distance rather than walking. As consequences, due to this causes they are more sluggish and do not take the efforts. On the paradoxical side, today, ample of ways how to encourage the masses about walk. To embark with, if parents go for minor distance like market, temple by walking then children directly adopt this habit. As a result, they less used private vehicle, which is good for health and we also contribute to save the natural resources, environment as well. Moreover, school, college management should organise the seminars regarding healthy lifestyle, which are fruitful for students, because they gain knowledge abut various activities, which are helpful for balance about health. To Encapsulate, I would like to reiterate that less walking is not good for individual health, which create many glitches. so, parents, teacher should motivate children do the walk and implement on their life also.
It is irrefutable that acknowledge that a healthy mind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a healthy body.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is one's most prized possession.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
experts consider that walking is one
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the best".
of best
activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
masses
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
The usual collocation for "interested" is "in" not "for". Did you mean "interested in"?
interested for
walking.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, I shall illuminate my view points regarding walking and motivate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about this activity in my
further
writing. There are multiple reasons, why individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
focus on walking nowadays.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
first
and foremost is that in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
masses bare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy in their personal and professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, they earn more and more money to fulfill their needs, and bestow better lifestyle to their children.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
that's why they have insufficient time to go for walking.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, they have
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
burden regarding work.
For instance
, teacher render
The phrase 'the ample of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the ample of
work to students, which they complete at home, and working person
also
finished their task, which provided by boss at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success and promotion.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
concentrate on one work, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
.
Furthermore
, in this day and age, technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there myriad of facilities, which are available for humans like private and public vehicle, which are helpful for moving one place to another, and
that is
main reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
. To illustrate,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
folks, who prefer car, bike for short distance
rather
than walking. As consequences, due to
Did you mean "these"?
this
causes they are more sluggish and do not take the efforts. On the paradoxical side,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, ample of ways how to encourage the masses about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
. To embark with, if parents go for minor distance like market, temple by walking then children
directly
adopt this habit.
As a result
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
private vehicle, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
health and
we
also
contribute to save the natural resources, environment
as well
.
Moreover
, school, college management should
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
the seminars regarding healthy lifestyle, which are fruitful for students,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they gain knowledge abut various activities, which are helpful for balance about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. To Encapsulate, I would like to reiterate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
walking is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, which create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
glitches.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, parents, teacher should motivate children do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
and implement on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
also
.
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IELTS essay Health experts believe that walking is good excercise for health. however, people are walking less nowadays. why is this happening? how can people be encouraged to walk more.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
374 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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