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Having no money makes people unhappy. Others are not happy having a lot of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Having no money makes people unhappy. Others are not happy having a lot of money. BYjjw
The lack of financial sources makes some people sad, while others who are more financially capable are also feeling down. In today’s world, the cost of living has become extremely high. The rise of prices from the market has been markedly significant. Employees who are earning the minimum wage find it hard to balance their expenditures. Most of their salary is allotted for bill payment to utilities and basic necessities. In effect, having no extra allowance to buy what they fancy has led them to be miserable. In addition, other people want to experience financial freedom as they would like to help their relatives in need. But due to lack of funds, these individuals tend to focus more on their needs before helping others. For example, sending money or even food to relatives from provinces has become difficult not because of unemployment but because of the increasing charges brought about by the economic struggle we are experiencing now. This now make people feel guilty for not helping their loved ones. On the other hand, there are people who are financially stable that are also feeling sorrowful. The excess of money that they have has made them feel burden to pay for significant others’ wants or needs. These people have become reliant to their family who is more able. For illustration, their children ask for a new gadget and their relatives constantly ask for food from them. For this reason, they feel down because others are not growing, instead they are just putting dependence on them. Moreover, having extra money together with peer-pressure makes you want to buy unnecessary items such as the latest phone model and a luxury watch. In turn, they feel kind of depressed for purchasing unimportant stuff. To conclude, there are people who lack financial freedom, and there are people who are more financially stable, but both experiences sadness brought about by money. I am of the view that it is certainly harder to lack money than to have extra amount of money.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of financial sources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
sad, while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are more
financially
capable are
also
feeling down.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, the cost of living has become
extremely
high. The rise of prices from the market has been
markedly
significant. Employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are earning the minimum wage find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to balance their expenditures. Most of their salary
is allotted
for bill payment to utilities and
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
. In effect, having no extra allowance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
what they fancy has led them to be miserable.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to experience financial freedom as they would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their relatives in need.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of funds, these individuals tend to focus more on their needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
helping others.
For example
, sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or even food to relatives from provinces has become difficult not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of unemployment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increasing charges brought about by the economic struggle we are experiencing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
The usual collocation for "guilty" is "of" not "for". Did you mean "guilty of"?
guilty for
not helping their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
financially
stable that are
also
feeling sorrowful. The excess of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that they have has made them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
burden to pay for significant others’ wants or needs. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become reliant to their family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is more able. For illustration, their children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
a new gadget and their relatives
constantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
food from them.
For this reason
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
others are not growing,
instead
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
putting dependence on them.
Moreover
, having extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
together with peer-pressure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unnecessary items such as the latest phone model and a luxury
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
. In turn, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
kind of depressed for purchasing unimportant stuff.

To conclude
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
financial freedom, and there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are more
financially
stable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
both experiences sadness brought about by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. I am of the view that it is
certainly
harder to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
than to have extra amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
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IELTS essay Having no money makes people unhappy. Others are not happy having a lot of money.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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