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Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. GMNNw
In this rapidly changing world, individuals often go through the dilemma of paying more attention to their bank accounts or having more free time for themselves. For this reason, some people compromise with higher income while some bargain with leisure time. I concur with the view that people should not negotiate with the quality of life for money. There are a majority of people who think having abundant money is the best way to live a life. With better financial stability, they can provide a more luxurious and comfortable lifestyle to their loved ones with the cost of sacrificing their hobbies. The monetary benefits bring happiness and contentment to some people because of which they can provide quality education and health facilities to their families. Thus they prioritize it in place of dedicating that time for leisure activities. At the same time, some believe that spending long hours on work and having no time to actually enjoy is not the right approach to life. They consider time to be a great equalizer and time spend at work cannot be purchased with money as it leads to stress and other health related problems. Living a healthier life and spending quality time with loved ones is more essential for people and many of them regret it later on in their life. Indeed, many billionaires on their death bed remarked that they wished to have more time with their families. In my perspective, people should maintain a balanced life by giving equal time to work and personal time. They will lead a more fulfilling lifestyle if they prioritize both factors equally. Focusing just on financial stability will make one dull whereas not being productive has its own drawbacks.
In this
rapidly
changing world, individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go through the dilemma of paying more attention to their bank accounts or having more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for themselves.
For this reason
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
compromise with higher income while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
bargain with leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I concur with the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not negotiate with the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for money.

There are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "majorities"?
majority
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
having abundant money is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. With better financial stability, they can provide a more luxurious and comfortable lifestyle to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
with the cost of sacrificing their hobbies. The monetary benefits bring happiness and contentment to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which they can provide quality education and health facilities to their families.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
they prioritize it in place of dedicating that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for leisure activities.

At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that spending long hours on work and having no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to actually enjoy is not the right approach to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to be a great equalizer and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spend at work cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
with money as it leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and other health related problems. Living a healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and spending quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
is more essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them regret it later on in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Indeed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
billionaires on their death bed remarked that they wished to have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their families.

In my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should maintain a balanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by giving equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to work and personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. They will lead a more fulfilling lifestyle if they prioritize both factors
equally
. Focusing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
on financial stability will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
one dull whereas not being productive has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
drawbacks.
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IELTS essay Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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